Super Sexy Slim-Down 2009

I got on the scale at my doctors appointment the other day... AHHHHH! (Let's just say, I was not elated).

Numbers have reached an all-time high, friends. Numbers that I plan on shrinking in the upcoming months. ERGO: I'd like to introduce to you the Ultimate "Super Sexy Slim-Down 2009" Challenge!

I've done it before, and I can do it again! Toning the curves and eliminating the oh-so-hated "problem areas" through healthier eating, an exercise regimen and a heaping dollop of will power :)

I'm a determined young lady and I KNOW that I can get myself back to a satisfying weight. My goal: fit into the jeans hanging in my closet by the end of the year. Those incredible, dark-wash denim beauties that I purchased full-price at Lucky Brand this fall. Oh how exciting that would be :)

If any of you readers would like to join me in the "Super Sexy Slim-Down 2009" Challenge, please let me know! It's always easier and a lot more fun to have a buddy by your side.... Ready, Set, RUN!

The Ultimate FML

During my internship Saturday afternoon at the glorious PostSecret headquarters, all of the interns gathered around Frank's dining-room table and voted on secrets for his next best-selling book, (to be released this fall).

One of the secrets we voted on was... "Art is my religion." It was written on a cute little postcard that featured a picture of a cross made with newspaper clippings and watercolor paints. It was definitely touching, but wasn't, (in my opinion), worthy of PostSecret publication.

One of the rules that Frank laid out during the 1st intern meeting was that we had to be completely honest about our opinion of each secret. Even if everyone in the group disagreed with our judgment, we were REQUIRED to verbalize our true feelings about each postcard.

Being the rule-follower that I am, (and being the most opinionated loud-mouth ever), I was more than happy to share my feelings about the "Art is my religion" postcard...

"If this person thinks art is their religion, don't you think they'd be a little better at it?" I snidely remarked. "It looks like a 5 year-old made this."

WELL... Frank started cracking up. I thought it was because he liked my sense of humor. WRONG!

"Thanks, Hilary. That was my secret. I threw it into the pile this morning. Way to destroy my self-confidence."

Basically... I unknowingly dissed my boss, (the coolest boss ever), and made him question his ability to pursue his life passion. (oops!) I think you'll all agree with me when I say... FML!

"Is this a date!?"

I had a hot date last night. The funny thing is, neither one of us really knew it was a date.

Let’s call this charming man “Brian,” (he totally resembles Brian Littrell from The Back Street Boys… HOT!)… Another funny thing: he’s a musician… YES, another one, AHH!

I reviewed his band for my school paper and wanted to give him some copies after it was printed. I texted him Monday…

Me: “The article printed today! I’ll save you a bunch of copies.”
Brian: “Beautiful. It’s going on my wall. You gonna be around this weekend to meet up?”
Me: “Absolutely!”

THEN…. Thursday morning rolled around…

Brian: “Hilary! How does this weekend look?
Me: “My life will revolve around a 1500 word paper due Monday. Please feel free to distract me lol.”
Brian: “Oh, you will be distracted. Don’t plan to get much done Saturday evening…”
Me: “hahahaha… sounds good! I’ve penciled you in (wink)”

(OK, this last little texting session was my first indication that our meeting up MIGHT be a date-like event. A very, very, small little hint. But still… a slight indication.)

THEN… Saturday rolled around. I still had no idea what was happening. Was it just me and him that evening? Were other people going to be with us? What were we doing that night? What the hell should I wear?

WELL… It was just the two of us. (The second “this might be a date” indication). We walked to a nearly club to hear some English alt rock/folk dude perform. Brian paid my entry fee and refused my money when I tried to pay him back. He also bought my drinks. (The third “this might be a date” indication).

We sat at a table and chatted for about an hour until the English musician got on stage. The dude had awesome stage presence and his music was really relaxing. I definitely enjoyed it. Brian started putting his arms around me and holding my hands during the performance. (The fourth “this might be a date” indication).

As we walked home from the show, I somehow ended up holding Brian’s hand. (Indication #5). I’m not sure who grabbed whose hand first, (he claims I grabbed his), but either way… it was pretty cute.

We got back to the apartment and sat in his living room watching TV with some of his roommates and friends. While flipping through the channels, he had his arm around me and was holding my hand… (OK… indication #6… we’re getting somewhere here).

His roommates and friends left to go run an errand and left the two of us alone in the apartment. Within a few minutes, our lips were locked. I finally concluded: Yes, this definitely counts as a date!

I heard from him this afternoon. We’re meeting up again next Friday. It should be fun :)

Unsung Treasures: Little Drops of Joy

Here is another unsung treasure... the tiny pink flowers that blossom every year on one of the trees in my frontyard. The tree only blossoms for 2 weeks each year, usually the last 2 weeks of April. Major plus: they're PINK!... what a gift :)

Ode to AU

I would like to share with you all a poem that I wrote today about my American University...



American University was constructed in DC.
It plays host to athletes, hipsters, smokers, goths & ME!

I transferred there after freshman year to escape the boring South.
And since that move I've had T.D.R food shoved into my mouth.

AU students are eclectic, quite a varied bunch.
Most are friendly, some are strange, the frat boys spike your punch!

Kogod is the business school, where students learn to lead.
CAS is for artsy kids who paint while smoking weed.

The school is tiny, the dorms are BLAH and the professors are quite tough.
But beautiful flowers blossom on campus and you sometimes get free stuff!

THE END

ALSO, Mama Leister just called. Here's what she had to say... "Work was pretty slow today. Nobody masturbated in the lobby".... what?

PB&J Makes the World Go Round

I have a few quick updates to share with you all and some philosophical questions to ask...

1) A close friend, (let's call her Kat), asked me today if you could get pregnant without having sex. It kind of made my day after I stopped laughing.
2) How does one achieve fulfillment and satisfaction in life?
3) I got a pretty big ass-whooping from MAMA this afternoon for slacking on filling out my forms for Rome this summer. I leave in less than a month and have yet to apply for a student Visa.... oops!
4) Is it alright to hang-out with your ex's band mates? And if they ask you to come to their concert, is it weird to go? Even if HE will be there?
5) Zac Efron called and asked me out yesterday. (OK, that's a lie. But I had a dream that he did :)
6) I haven't seen Lucky Charms in a few days. I'm kind of in withdrawal. Like Zac, he has no physical flaws!

Lots of LOVE... hugs & kisses... whatever... :P

Why You Shouldn't Make PLDs

Last night was so ridiculous that it would be inappropriate and completely unwise to write about it on the internet. ERGO: I'll tell you what I can. You fill in the blanks...

McFadden's... Staci... Pentagon Boy... Chris... Free Drafts... Limes... Bachelor Party... Shots... Dancing... Bill... Cab... 7-Eleven... House... Bed... Phone... Sweater... Dress... Trevor... Locked... Bang... Bruise... Jackass... Cab... 911... Cops... $33... FAIL

Like I said... inappropriate! (A massively epic FAIL... but a great story to tell my kids when they ask what I was like in college)... Good times, Good times :)

The Ultimate "Wake-Up" Mix

It's 6:02 in the morning and I've been awake since 3:38. I went to bed exhausted at 11:35 last night and expected to sleep soundly until my 8:00 alarm. WTF?

Today I have a class "field trip" to the Holocaust museum, 2 shifts as a director at AU's expected students day, a soccer game (to watch), and a concert (to watch). Basically... QUITE an event-filled day. What on earth will keep me awake to successfully execute my itinerary!?

COFFEE!... OK, that's kind of a given. But what else will help to keep me peppy and energized until (at least) 11 pm tonight?... Answer: a kick-ass iPod playlist :)

After much hard work and decision-making, (I've been up since 3:38), I have finally compiled the perfect "WAKE UP" playlist for any sleepy music fan in need of a little "iCaffeine" (hehe)...

1) Single Ladies (Beyonce)
2) Move To The Music (American Bang)
3) Sex On Fire (Kings of Leon)
4) Old Time Rock'n'Roll (Bob Seger)
5) Supermassive Black Hole (Muse)
6) What Time Is It? (HSM2 Soundtrack)
7) Viva La Vida (Coldplay)
8) London Bridge (Fergie)
9) Little Bitty Pretty One (Huey Lewis)
10) Do Right (Jimmie's Chicken Shack)
11) SexyBack (Justin Timberlake)
12) All These Things That I've Done (The Killers)
13) What Is This Feeling? (Wicked Soundtrack)
14) Love Today (Mika)
15) Well Adjusated (MXPX)
16) Let's Hear It For The Boy (Deniece Williams)

Please enjoy your wake-up mix with a hot cup of coffee... and maybe some toast... (whole wheat bread with raspberry jam :)

Luck of the Irish

I walked out of class this morning and did the first thing I always do after a long and droning block... I checked my cell phone. Lucky me, I had a new voicemail!...

"Hey Hilary, this is Alex from McFadden's Bar in DC. I'm just calling to tell you that you've won a FREE OPEN BAR... (blah, blah, blah)"

"AHHHH, OMG, I WON!" I shouted into the ear of my good friend, Staci Hooks. "AHHH, OMG, YOU WON!" Staci shouted back.

McFadden's Bar is the wonderful, glorious establishment where last Thursday I locked lips with Lucky Charms, the dreamiest Irish boy on this side of the Atlantic. I think it is quite obvious what's going on here... God is telling me to drink beer, get trashed and hook up with hotties... FOR FREE!

I truly believe that my Irish heritage is somehow drawing me to McFadden's. Because of this bar, I kissed the hottest guy at American University AND NOW am getting offered free drinks to go back for more partying!... I'm telling you guys... This is fate.

ERGO: I just filled out and submitted an application to work as a hostess/whatever-girl at McFadden's starting July 1st, (after my return from Rome)... If it works out, I'll get to wear a hoochy little outfit and flirt with attractive men every night... AND get paid to do it! Coyote Ugly... bring it on ;)

And The Winner Is...

CONGRATULATIONS to Alison Lanese, Justin Spees AND Catherine Goski... Because you 3 were cool enough to enter the "Life's A Musical: Great Gift Giveaway," you ALL are going to recieve an amazing prize. (Alison & Kitty- I have your addresses already. Expect gifts within the next few days. Justin- I need your school address dude!)

My goal was to have 5 people enter... And I must say: The fact that more than double that many people read this blog, I am dissapointed that more loyal readers did NOT enter the slinky contest... (It's not that hard loves... 1) Enter contest 2) Win prizes!)

ERGO: For the next contest, (which will be soon), I am expecting many more entries. I'll even offer a somewhat-decent prize! (Although, Alan Rickman's slinky is hard to beat)

THANKS again to my favorite 3 contestants... you all will be rewarded for your unlazy faithfulness... MUAH!

"Life's A Musical: Great Gift Giveaway"

Happy Easter everyone! I hope that all of you have already bitten the ears off your chocolate bunnies :)

In celebration of Cadbury Eggs and the resurrection of Jesus, I’d like to introduce to you the “Life’s A Musical: Great Gift Giveaway,” a fun little game that forces you to read my blog, enter the contest and win cool prizes!

Today’s Great Gift Giveaway… (drum roll)… a slinky! (See picture above). But not just any slinky. OH NO, friends!!... This slinky was once owned by Alan Rickman, (aka: Professor Snape), and saved his life during a run-in with a poisonous python on a pirate ship off the coast of Somalia. (I’m not exactly sure how this all happened… but who would question the daring tales and talents of Alan Rickman?)

Here’s how to enter: Simply leave a comment on this post, (or on my facebook wall), that includes the following criteria… 1) your name, & 2) three things that make you happy…. (Here’s a sample entry for you)…

My name is Mary Wanna

1) Friends re-runs on TBS
2) My gorgeous neighbor who jogs shirtless
3) Animal Crackers with no heads

On Wednesday evening at 7 pm, I will put all of the entries into a hat and randomly draw a winner! I will then post the winner’s name on my blog and get their contact information to mail them their amazing prize. Readers: Good Luck!

(P.S. a surprise gift will be mailed to the winner along with the slinky… WOOHOO!)

My Real-Life Fairytale: Cinderella Style

Have you ever experienced the fulfillment of a dream that you never imagined in a million YEARS would come true? Have you ever had one of your intimate fantasies become reality?

Last night, I stepped into a fairytale…

My friend Luna won an open-bar party at a cute little pub outside of Georgetown. She and I headed down there around 10pm to claim our lovely gratis beverages. To my delight, my favorite Uncle, Mike, showed up too and took part in our fun-filled merriment :)

I was sipping my Bud Light and chatting away with Mike & Luna when it happened… I saw him… the gorgeous Irish boy in my reporting class that I’ve been secretly crushing on since the beginning of the semester. He is the definition, the very EPITOME of “my type.”

Out of sheer excitement and reflex, I shouted his name across the bar. He turned his head, flashed his heart-melting smile and started walking in my direction. After 3 months of admiring him from afar, I finally had an actual conversation with my favorite piece of eye-candy!

To make a long story short: The Irish boy, (let’s call him “Lucky Charms”), and his 3 adorable friends were my main form of entertainment for the rest of the night. I bonded quite well with one of them, (kiss, dance, hug, drink, kiss), but somehow got shifted in the crowd and started dancing with Lucky Charms! With one good song after another… our heads got closer, his smile got wider… and our lips were locked! (For quite some time, I might add :)

He got my number… but I'm not expecting a phone call. As I see it: it was one of those Cinderella nights. I am still in disbelief that the whole thing happened. I’ve been smiling to myself ever since :)

Leaf : Tree :: Moments : Forever

I love to read. Me = bookworm... (But I'm very critical: I expect my books to be well-written, attention-grabbing and memorable)... The book that I am currently reading is called "The History of Love" by Nicole Krauss. So far, (I'm on pg. 53), I am thoroughly enjoying it :)

I came across a quote on pg. 45 that took my breath away. OK, it didn't take my breath away, but it was pretty damn cute. Cute enough for me to feel that need to share it with all of you...

"The sculptor and painter Alberto Giacometti said that sometimes just to paint a head you have to give up the whole figure. To paint a leaf, you have to sacrifice the whole landscape. It might seem like you're limiting yourself at first, but after a while you realize that having a quarter-of-an-inch of something, you have a better chance of holding on to a certain feeling of the universe than if you pretended to be doing the whole sky."

I KNOW, RIGHT! You totally love it... (P.S. I was just informed that Zac Efron is hosting SNL this Saturday! I honestly haven't felt this excited since seeing HSM3 :)

Unsung Treasures: Little Drops of Joy

It's been kind of a rocky week for me. I'm not going to go into details because... 1) This isn't my diary, & 2)You aren't my freaking therapists... You are my loyal readers who visit my blog for fun, joy and sarcastic entertainment :)

Ergo, I'd like to introduce you to "Unsung Treasures: Little Drops of Joy"... a new permanent section of my blog that I'll mention everytime I come across a hidden/ underappreciated form of happiness, inspiration or sheer amusement.

Today's unsung treasure/little drop of joy... The beautiful spring flowers on AU's campus!

American University is a national arboretum, (meaning that it is nationally recognized for its sensational horticulture)... I am glad to know that my tuition money is going towards a good cause: Planting breath-taking flowers to adorn the university. I don't care if there aren't enough computers in the library. At least I can walk towards the Welcome Center and watch beautiful tulips blowing in the wind!... Here are some of the photos I took today around campus...

Observe & Report

I just got back from a press screening for a new movie called "Observe & Report," a college-humor comedy about a lazy mall-cop, (Seth Rogan), who tries to win the slutty love-of-his-life, (Anna Faris), by solving both a robbery and a sexual-assuault case before an egotistical private investigator, (Ray Liotta)...

Basically... "Mall Rats" + "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" + "Superbad" + "The Waterboy" = "Observe & Report"... it's shockingly obscene and painfully funny... But really, you've seen it all before: Seth Rogan is his typical hilarious self. Anna Faris is her typical hilarious self. The main characters curse a lot and do/say things that (hopefully) no human-being is stupid enough to do in real life.

Despite the fact that it rips-off four other well-known comedies, "Observe & Report" serves-up some pretty great scenes... The opening scene with the perverted mall-flasher will literally make you pee your pants. And the date scene between Rogan & Faris... WOW: hilarious!

The movie is funny... but you should definitely wait until it comes to DVD. Seth Rogan & Anna Faris will just have to wait :)

Books, Twilight, Joose, Candyland, Yale

It’s been about 2-3 days since my last post and there are several things I’d like to share with you all…

1) I read a book this week that changed my life: “He’s Just Not That Into You” by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, (it inspired the movie). It should be distributed to every woman at puberty as the ultimate relationship manual for understanding men. It’s an eye-opening guidebook that I wish I had read before diving into the world of dating 7 years ago. It would have saved me a lot of worthless heartbreak and unnecessary stress.

2) I went down to Williamsburg last night to visit my brother & some of my fellow Nicaragua travelers. The point of the visit was to attend a Twilight-themed party hosted by my good friend, Antonio Elias… (Yes, I said Twilight: Edward Cullen, Bella Swan, vampires, werewolves… an emo kid’s heaven!) Here is a direct quote from the e-mail invitation I received Friday morning:

Join us, for nothing is more enjoyable than man's most horrifying creation - the 2008 hit film starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. How will we survive the onslaught of divinity that is "Edward Cullen"? Simple - the Leister-Elias Twilight Drinking game - every time you want to KILL YOURSELF, or kill one of the actors, or Stephanie Meyer, DRINK!

3) During my W-burg visit I was introduced to a new beverage: “Joose”… A premium malt beverage with natural flavors, alcohol, caffeine, taurine, ginseng and certified colors. Sketched out? You should be! When the W&M kids get their party on with JOOSE, they are beyond drunk… they are “in the GRID”… (Whatever that means?)

4) After the Twilight party had ended, a couple of us crazy kids headed to another fun party… its theme: Candyland! Picture lots of bright colors, sweet treats and college kids dressed up as gummy bears, bubble-gum and Hershey kisses. The hosts even created a makeshift bar stocked with specially-made party drinks like skittle-vodka, jello-shots, peppermint-patty shots, lemon-drop shots and other clever concoctions. Party-goers sported candy necklaces, bracelets and even candy bras! What clever William & Mary students :)

5) Andrew has definitely decided to go to graduate school at Yale next year. Honestly: I was quite thrilled to hear his decision… My new plan is to visit him constantly until I meet a handsome, rich & intelligent Eli who will shower me with love… Hey: A girl’s gotta take advantage of her resources :)

A Lover's Manual

In addition to writing a book about my mother’s philosophies and wisdom, I hope to someday publish a manual for clueless men and women on how to romance the opposite sex through generous acts of love and kindness.

I am an action-oriented kind of gal… (NO, not the bungee-jumping sort of action… but the gift-gifting, thoughtful gestures, lean-on-me sort of action). In my clever romantic mind I’ve thought up hundreds of creative ways for any man or woman to let their special-someone know how special and appreciated they are. Here are some of the chapter titles I’ve been brainstorming…

1) Power Of The Pen
2) Horny? Get Corny!
3) Aphrodisiacs Are Overrated!
4) Think Small, Dream Big
5) Finding Inspiration: Tips for the Lazy
6) Leave Your Wallet At Home
7) Words Tell It All
8) What NOT To Do
9) Reading The Signs

I’m aiming for a release date sometime around 2015… Until then: good luck lovers!

Attack of the Devil Children!

The past 24 hours have been chock-full of adventure! I landed an amazing fall internship in New York City at a top-rated Magazine… I saw and talked to Beyonce coming out of a coffee shop in Dupont Circle… I bought roundtrip plane tickets to Rome for only $200… And most exciting/dramatic: I found out I’m pregnant!

OK… I hope that by now you realize where all of this is going… APRIL FOOLS! (None of the above statements are true)

I hate this Holiday… Who the hell invented “April Fools Day” anyway? My best April 1st memory was making creepy crawlers with THE Andrew Gerard Leister and hiding them stealthily around the house to traumatize our Mother. To our dismay… the jokes ended with long timeouts and no cookies in our school lunchboxes :(

The worst April Fools Day in the history of Leister April Fools took place sometime around 1995. The extended family had gathered at Grandma’s house for a mid-day brunch, (present at the meal were my crazy mischievous cousins)…One of us decided that it would be a good idea to play a little trick on Grandma and Papa… Already, BAD IDEA!

We snuck upstairs and started giggling to ourselves as we pulled all of their clothes out of their dressers and through them across the floor. We then took shampoo and baby powder and ran around the bedrooms sprinkling it across every piece of furniture. We even went so far as to put grandma’s bras in secret little hiding spots around the house… OH how clever we were!

WRONG! Our parents stepped in and ultimate groundings ensued… (after we spent hours cleaning up the mess)... It’s a great story to tell today, but at the time it was a definite P.L.D. (poor life decision)… ERGO: I am completely scarred from past April Fools. I have learned my lesson to only play tricks that don’t involve rubber spiders, sticky toiletries and grandma’s undergarments. Thank the Lord for verbal lies :)