The Thrills of Hills: "Drama Circle"

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "The Thrills of Hills: Drama Circle." A friend of mine recently came to me with a story so sitcom-appropriate that I feel a compulsive need to share it...

Jake lives down the street from me. He's tall, lanky, and friendly, the typical neighborhood dude. His best friend, Chris, lives across the street from him and they've been best friends for quite some time.

Several weeks ago, Chris' cousin, Brianna from NYC, moved in with him after landing a job in DC. She lives in Chris' basement and is apparently a very attractive, smart, and funny young lady. WELL- much to Jake's pleasure, Brianna has showed interest in many of Jake's attempts to win her heart. HOWEVER- Over the past few weeks, Jake and Brianna have had to sneak around Chris because he definitely does NOT, does NOT approve of their budding romance, (for reasons he won't disclose).

Jake and Brianna have had to arrange late-night meetings when Chris is asleep or else get together when he's away from home. They've developed strong feelings for one another and truly enjoy their time together. But they are constantly nervous about Chris' reaction to their relationship. (Are we already feeling the next Nicholas Sparks film?)

Anyways- Chris recently found out about the intensity of Jake and Brianna's romance because he walked in on them "canoodling" in Jake's basement. (GASP!)... Chris has been very mean to Jake because of this and they ended up having an enormous, foul-mouthed fight about it this past weekend... in front of Brianna! After the fight, Brianna got on her computer and starting sending messages back and forth with Jake. Jake told Brianna that he thought they should stop their romance because it was hurting Chris and he didn't want a relationship to ruin their treasured friendship. Brianna told Jake that she understood and went to bed.

The next morning at 7 am, Jake received a call from Chris on his cell phone, (who usually would never call at such an early hour). Chris said that Brianna had had heart palpitations similar to a heart attack earlier that morning and that an ambulance had had to come to their house and taken her to the hospital. The palpitations, as they later found out, were stress-induced.

Jake, feeling like he LITERALLY gave Brianna a heart attack, is now feeling like a very sad and guilty panda. Will Brianna move back to NYC because she can't stand living across the street from the unavailable Jake? Will Chris help stop Brianna's stress by giving his blessing to Jake and Brianna's relationship? Or will Jake start dating someone else and rub it in Brianna's face? Stay tuned for more...

My Visit from The Virgin Mary

One summer day when I was 2 years old, I was in the backyard of my family's house in New Jersey picking raspberries off the raspberry bush that grew along our fence... (Why my mother let me outside alone at the age of 2, I have no idea)... Anyway- Mom was doing the dishes at the time and just happened to peer out the back window while scrubbing. She saw me sitting next to the bush, red berries smeared across my face, having a full-on conversation with absolutely no one. She figured I'd invented an imaginary friend or something... which would be the excuse for any NORMAL child in this situation.

That night as she put me to bed, Mom asked who I had been talking to earlier that day in the backyard. Apparently, (and I honestly don't remember any of this), I told Mom that Mary, Jesus' mother, came to visit me and that she was beautiful. As she started freaking out, Mom asked me what Mary had said to me during our conversation. I apparently told her that Mary said I was a very, very special girl and that she loved me very much.

WELL- Mom instantly went and called my uber Catholic grandma who she thought must have put crazy ideas into my head about holy transcendentalism. Grandma told my Mom that she had said nothing of the sort to me and that I must just be a very, very special child. (Needless to say- I've been Grandma's favorite ever since)... My crazy uncle suggested we make our raspberry bush a place of holy visitation and start a businesses getting Catholic tourists to pay to see where the Virgin Mother descended.

The point of my story is this... If there really is a Virgin Mary and she really DID come and visit me that day, what was her purpose in telling me that I was so special?  Henry David Thoreau once said, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation"... According to Mary, I am NOT one of the masses. (Which is reassuring, because I've never been a fan of quiet desperation)