Greek Season Premiere: Toga! Toga!

I've been waiting for this day since last October!

I'm buying some popcorn & dusting off the plasma screen for the season premiere of Greek, (currently- my favorite show), airing on ABC Family at 8:00pm this evening!

Because Grey's Anatomy & One Tree Hill have been quite disappointing this year, (they're lost causes), I'm putting lots of eggs into Greek's basket to revive my enthusiasm and respect for prime-time television. The show's first three seasons exceeded my expectations and I'm praying that the 4th season will be just as entertaining.

To sum-up Greek in a nutshell... It's a cute drama/romantic comedy that follows the adventures of the panhellenic system at Cyprus Rhodes University... (Don't bother googling the school, it doesn't exist)... The show focuses on real-life struggles facing today's college students, (dating, classes, roommates, money), while incorporating the ridiculous and hysterical culture of themed-parties, religious extremism, underage drinking and sheer collegiate embarrassment.

The show relates to most college-aged viewers because it takes the perspective of students from every stereotypical clique: There's the uber-Christian, the blossoming nerd, daddy's little princess, the gay jock, the lazy ladies' man, the hard-working beauty, the trust-fund frat-boy and a house full of party animals.

Tune in tonight to see if Max and Casey stay together and whether or not Frannie destroys the future of Zeta Beta Zeta.

(PS- If Friends was still on the air, I wouldn't have looked twice at this show. Joey Tribbiani... how I miss thee)

Birth of Venus: (Rhymes with Penis)

This is one of the (many) postcards that I took away from yesterday's PostSecret meeting. I liked the secret because I recently studied Botticelli's Birth of Venus in my Art History class. I also liked it because I completely agree with the secret... What's the point of taking a ride if there's no destination? :)

The Blogger Chick

For your amusement...

The Many Forms of Art

Yesterday was pretty monumental…

I got some time to meditate on the Metro as I dragged my booty over to L Street. From the Farragut North station I walked to the New America Foundation where I heard an NYU Professor discuss the first 100 days of Guantanamo Bay’s prison camp, (I went for a school assignment… I’m really not that interested)… Even though the woman was clearly over 50, she was rocking some black leather boots and a tight mini-skirt. Honestly, she looked hot! I give her mad props for not sacrificing stylistic integrity due to age.

I then hopped on the Metro again and made my way to the Smithsonian station downtown. I walked up the street and entered the doors of the National Gallery of Art… (I wish I could say otherwise… but again: it was for an assignment). Although I spent most of my time playing in the gift-shop, I analyzed all of the assignment’s necessary paintings and even ran into an old-friend: Edward Hopper’s The Mansard Roof, (see above).

Around 9:30 pm I drove on over to the Deville palace and watched Teddy’s band write a new song together. It was their darkest, eeriest and sexiest song yet… It’s going to turn-on even the purest of listeners. I’m so proud of my rockers!

And now, my friends… I am off to read the secrets of people from all over the world, (aka: my PostSecret internship)… don’t forget to send us your postcards!

The Leister Family

I found a fun little toy online that let me create a stick-figure portrait of my lovely family...

Medical Humilitation

I slept through my alarm this morning and woke up almost an hour late. By the time I got out of bed, I had to be at the doctor's office in 25 minutes. The office is 20 minutes away.

I slipped on my sneakers, brushed my teeth, grabbed a granola bar and ran out the door. Everything was going to be fine... It wasn't rush hour and I knew that I could make it on time... COME ON BELTWAY!

... I knew something was wrong. There was a little inkling in my mind saying that I had forgotten a very important task... but what had I forgotten? I would soon know...

It was time for my physical. The doctor asked me to take off all my clothes, except for my underwear... oops, there it was! It hit me like a cherry bomb. I had forgotten to wear underwear!

"OOOO, ummm, yeah... it's uhh... laundry day, so I uhh... don't exactly have underwear on"...

Her expression looked a helluva lot like the cat's face above... She then broke into laughter and said that it was "totally normal" and that patients come in without underwear all the time!... (Yeah right, nice try Doc)...

That's my story for the day... (Oh wait... I also drove over a giant stretch of grass while the guard wasn't looking to avoid paying my parking fee... I stuck it to the man!)

Thank the Lord for Creating...

It has come to my attention that yesterday’s post had a very bitter tone. I want to apologize for my childish whining and unnecessary complaining. What doesn’t make sense is that I was actually in a pretty good when I wrote it! I guess my bitterness came from some deep repressed anger hidden in the depths of my sub-conscious.

To counteract yesterday’s Debbie-downer, today’s post will focus on the 10 things that I am most grateful for. I am a lucky, LUCKY lady and feel the need to thank the Lord for creating…

1) iPods: Once upon a time… the human race had to carry around compact discs and enormous un-shuffable contraptions to play them, (the contraptions even required batteries!)… There was no way to store your entire music library on a single 2x3” (inch) device… (Also: playlists were non-existent!)
2) Caffeine: What picks you up when you’re running on 4 hours of sleep? COFFEE… What gives you a second wind before a long night of partying? DIET COKE… The beauty of caffeine: It lifts us up where we belong :)
3) Makeup: All women are beautiful… (But let’s be honest: only a handful are “pretty”)… Makeup helps the less-fortunate ladies to hold their own in a sea of Venuses.
4) Comfortable mattresses: A plush, springy mattress that conforms to your body, relaxes your muscles and calms your soul can certainly make the difference between a night full of dreams or nightmares. Comfy, fluffy, feathery linens… OH how I love thee :)
5) F7 Thesaurus: As a journalist… a thesaurus is a handy/crucial tool! Instead of lugging around actual books, (old school), or looking-up words on the web, try this lovely little Microsoft Word trick… Hit “shift” and “F7” when the cursor is directly after your desired word. A window will immediately pop-up with all of your word’s synonyms and antonyms… Perfection!
6) Harry Potter: I don’t know where I’d be today without my favorite literary friend and his magical Hogwarts posse. The Harry Potter series is truly the best fictional saga of my generation. J.K. Rowling’s easy-to-read style invited me into the world of Hogwarts and let me experience adventures that only magic could offer… Wingardium Leviosa!
7) Alcohol: In NO way do I promote alcoholism or unhealthy addictions to mind-altering substances. I do, however, promote occasional partying and innocent loosey-goosey frolicking :)
8) Snow: Looking out your window and seeing a beautiful white blanket covering the earth… definitely one of God’s greatest gifts. Snow is pure, enchanting, refreshing and an ultimate mood-lifter during the cold winter months. Cherish your snow-days!
9) Family: Friends come and go, but family is forever! As Stitch once said… “Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind” (what a wise little Disney alien)... Love your family as much as you can. Give them lots of hugs… they’ll give you lots of presents!
10) Zac Efron: (Zachary David Alexander Efron)… My future husband, soul-mate, dreamboat, etc… What would I do without your beautiful blue eyes, your perfectly sculpted body and your incredible dance moves? Someday I will meet you... and we will have beautiful children together… THE END

Why Did God Create...?

I woke up this morning to an unpleasant surprise: I couldn’t breathe... Where the hell were my lungs? (inhale, exhale, oxygen, C02?)

I quickly remembered that the wonderful joy known as Spring had blossomed across our great city earlier this week. The sinuses of innocent victims are now being stuffed to excess with bountiful amounts of pollen: (aka- plant sperm). The makers of Claritin are rolling in profits and Flonase distributors are dining on lobster tails and fillet mignon.

But what about ME and the millions of Americans who are suffering because of uncontrollable allergies? Migraines, congestion, ache and fatigue are just a handful of symptoms that ail us… achoo! (sniff, sniff)

To “celebrate” the arrival of this glorious season, I have compiled a list of items that infuriate me on a daily basis. Why on earth did God create…

1) Mosquitoes: They carry diseases, swarm around our heads, suck our blood & make us itch and scratch till our skin falls off! Please do me a grand favor and kill as many of these vampire-like insects as you can.
2) Traffic: As an extremely anxious and antsy individual, almost nothing is worse than sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic with no escape from my little Honda Accord. Claustrophobia mixed with intense boredom = Hell!
3) Smooth Jazz: My dad WORSHIPS this genre of music. He blasts it through the house on a regular basis. Unfortunately… it makes me absolutely nauseous. Someone needs to destroy Kenny G’s saxophone.
4) Calories: Imagine how amazing it would be if we could eat whatever we wanted- ALL day EVERY day- and still maintain a size 2 frame. Some call it gluttony… I call it bliss! Why did God create such wonderful indulgences and then develop a society that shuns sugar-filled carbs?
5) Water Chestnuts: The most disgusting vegetable of all time. Their crunchy texture and bitter taste make them absolutely gag-worthy!
6) Hair: Who hasn’t had a bad hair day?... Also: leg hair… why would God want to torture us with the constant chore of shaving? We knick our ankles, suffer from razor burn and waste too much time making ourselves smooth… Why can’t we just naturally be smooth? WHY!?
7) High School: Some people think high school was the best four years of their life. You all should wake up and embrace the world outside of prison. High school is a place for hormonal teenagers to inappropriately express their emotions, experiment with estrogen & testosterone and make very poor life decisions. Basically… one GIANT social nightmare.
8) Menstrual Cycles: The woman’s curse is completely unnecessary... I would rather receive a daily shot than continue this ridiculous pattern of monthly disdain. A quick stab in the arm would be nothing next to cramps, moodiness and abstinence.
9) War: War is bad. It’s scary, traumatic and kills loved ones. Call me a hippy, but I am all for world peace!
10) Acne: You wake up one morning and look out your bedroom window. It’s a beautiful sun-filled Saturday in May. You will be spending lots of time that day with dozens of friends and relatives that you haven’t seen in ages. Everything seems to be going perfectly… until you look in the mirror and see the giant boulder in the middle of your forehead... FML

Charming Strangers

One thing I really enjoy doing is meeting new & interesting people...

Last night I was chilling in my car outside of the Deville palace, patiently waiting for my favorite rock-stars to return home from their incredible show... I was reading "The Al-Jazeera Effect" and snuggling with my car blanket when I saw two random dudes walk up to the palace steps.

My first impulse was to lock my doors and hide from the guys in case they were burglars or psychopaths... but instead I decided to be my friendly bubbly self and start a conversation…

“Hey, are you guys here for the Deville party?” I asked.
“Uhh, yeah, we are. Are you?” they responded.
“Yeah, they aren’t back yet though. You guys can wait in my car if you want. It’s kind of cold out here,” I kindly requested.
“Sure, thanks!”…

… and that’s how I met two new rockers: one seductively amazing guitarist and one Seattle-native with an enormous afro.

After some upbeat small talk about Al-Jazeera and Harry Potter, the guitarist asked me how I knew the members of Deville. I told him I was “friends” with Teddy, which he immediately understood to mean “special” friends. He then asked if I had been to many of their shows… “Of course,” I told him. “I go to as many as I can! I love watching them play”… and then he said something magical…

“Wow, it’s girls like you that make being a musician worthwhile. We can write our songs and stand on stage performing them for dozens or even hundreds of people who don’t really appreciate what we’re doing… but looking out into the crowd and seeing that one person who really knows you, who loves watching you play and really cares about you… It’s girls like you that inspire us.”

All I could say… “Please father my children!”

Ok, I didn’t say that. But still: the dude had charm! I highly, HIGHLY doubt that his theory is true for the majority of musicians. But honestly… WHO cares! I was completely flattered and touched by his philosophy. Was it bullshit? Probably… but it was very, VERY good bull shit.

NCAA... Leister Trivia... TGIF

For your entertainment: A few quick updates...

1) A video of the Nicaraguan Clifford pinata incident, (see details below), has been uploaded to my facebook page. Check it out to experience the hilarity of my Latin American adventures.

2) My school's basketball team played in the first round of the Big Dance last night! I joined the school's lady lacrosse players, (I am such a wannabee), to watch the game in our student union. Although we were up by 10 points at halftime, we ended up losing to some crazy wildcats who tore us apart with their undeserved free-throws. So long, March Madness :(

3) I just had lunch in my school's cafe(teria) with my Ohio cousin's next door neighbor: a junior in high school looking at apply here in the fall. It turns out that she knows more about my family than I do... (Who knew that 8 aunts, 10 uncles and 18 cousins could be so entertaining?)... I was quite impressed, and only slightly creeped out.

4) A quick reminder that Teddy Graham's band will be playing at The Rock'n'Roll Hotel tonight at about 9:00. Doors open at 8:30 & the cover charge is $10. (I would be happy to pay for any DC-based friends that are interested :)

5) TGIF!

Deville: (Rock'n'Roll Hotel... March 20 @ 8:30 pm)

The editors working at my school's student newspaper need to die!

I spent several laborious hours interviewing Teddy Graham's kick-ass band and writing a fabulous Q&A article to promote their concert on Friday night. I sent the article in to my editors Tuesday night, (aka: damn early!), and received a confirmation that it would be published in today's issue.

Anyways... I flipped through the paper this morning scanning the pages for my byline and sipping my caffeinated beverage. After carefully searching through the paper three times, I faced the reality that my article had failed to be published!

I've stomped over to the paper's office 4 times today... searching for some source of authority to be the target of my wrath. The door as been locked every time... no dice. I am therefore publishing my article here. I promised the band that I would promote them, and promote them I shall! Spread the word friends... Deville is on FIRE...

What do you get when you combine a tall guitarist sporting a sexy beard and a fedora hat, a witty bassist who looks like an Irish version of Kevin Jonas, an energetic drummer who blasts head-banging rhythms and a petite lead-singer with a soulful R&B and gospel background?

Answer… Deville: an emerging local band that uses rock, punk, blues, R&B and pop influences to create memorable songs that could grab the attention of almost any listener.

The four members of Deville, (Trevor, Ian, Pat and Gabby), have very different personalities, tastes, styles and talents. These local musicians found one another on Craigslist and joined forces to create a powerful sound that is rocking the stages of local venues across the DC area.

Some of the band’s members live together outside of Silver Spring, Maryland where they all gather several times a week to practice for their upcoming shows. Deville is influenced by and compares their music to that of No Doubt, Paramore, The Killers, Nirvana, The Beatles, The Ataris, and the list goes on…

Because Deville has been packing the houses of hot DC bars like The Red & The Black, they have been invited to play at the Rock’n’Roll Hotel and will be performing this Friday, March 20th at 8:30 pm. The Eagle sat down with Deville to talk about the band’s development, their goals for the future, their musical inspirations and their favorite DC hangouts.

How did you guys meet each other? How was Deville formed?

Gabby: I posted an ad on Craigslist for a guitar teacher because I was singing for another band at the time but wanted to learn how to play. Ian answered my ad and came over to teach me some chords.
Ian: I realized that she was a really great singer and we had so much fun just jamming together. We decided to take a chance and post another Craigslist ad for a drummer. Enter, Trevor…
Gabby: He pretty much came to the audition and beat the hell out of the drums. It was awesome, we loved it! All we needed now was a bassist, so we placed another ad and found Pat. We should seriously be spokespeople for Craigslist.

Who are your musical influences? Who or what inspires your songs?

Pat: Well, I know that Ian likes the blues, Gabby likes to be emotional, Trevor likes to hit things and I’m just kind of fun and funky.
Gabby: A lot of the lyrics I come up with somehow tell the story of my life. Pretty much all of our songs are inspired by things we are going through, except for City Girl, which Ian wrote for our friend Eleena. She helps take pictures for the band and lives with us here in the Deville house.
Pat: Wait a minute, City Girl was written for Eleena!? I totally feel like I’ve been dating a girl and just found out she was a stripper! No one told me this!
Gabby: Forgive Pat, he just joined the band a few months ago. He’s still learning the ropes. Chill out man!

What distinguishes you from other bands in DC? Why should AU students come out and see your shows?

Ian: We’re different than other bands because we aren’t trying to be something that’s already out there. Most groups are aspiring to be Radiohead and random Indie hipsters. All of their music ends up sounding the same. Deville, on the other hand, tries to incorporate lots of different sounds to create something completely original.
Pat: We are influenced by almost every genre and really try to stretch our musical abilities… without selling our souls.

Where do you guys see yourselves going in the future? What’s next for Deville?

Trevor: We really try to keep ourselves in the present. I personally like to think about the next show and the shows coming up in the near future. It helps me to enjoy everything as it happens and appreciate what we’re doing.
Pat: I think our main goal right now is to become one of the premiere bands in DC. It’s all about baby steps. Step one is to rock this city… then maybe concentrate on bigger things in the future.

Individually, what are your favorite hangout spots in the city?

Ian: Freedom Plaza Skate Park… it’s where I go to relieve all my stress.
Trevor: I like riding the metro and listening to music.
Gabby: Trevor, you are so weird. I like U Street. They have some incredible resturants.
Pat: There’s a little restaurant I like on 2nd Street in NW called “My Brother’s Place.” I have so many great memories there. Definitely go and check it out… but make sure you come and see Deville beforehand.

"Spring Break": Rum & Love in Nicaragua

Buenos Dias faithful readers! I’m back in the States after a fabulous week in Nicaragua full of gallo pinto, cheap souvenirs, dirt, Spanglish and a whopping dose of “That’s What She Said”…

It would be very difficult, (and obnoxious), to recount the entirety of my trip via blog post. Ergo: I’m going to sum it all up by sharing some of my favorite Nicaraguan memories, interesting details about the trip and amazing experiences that only Latin America could offer…

1) Day #3 in Nicaragua was the birthday of one of my fellow travelers: JP Morgan. Several of us pitched in a few cordobas, (Nicaraguan money), to buy the birthday boy a red Clifford piñata stuffed with lollipops and other delicious treats.

Because we didn’t have a bat handy, the group decided to put a coconut in a grocery bag and wildly swing the contraption in the direction of the piñata. Being his birthday, JP took the first whack at Clifford’s head. The coconut smacked the piñata and immediately exploded sending coconut juice flying across the room. Because of the explosion, Clifford’s red dye began to bleed and spill all over the floor. It looked like a crime scene… coconuts + piñatas = FAIL!

2) On the group’s vacation day…our driver, (Arnolfo), took us to Grenada for a relaxing boat ride on Lake Nicaragua. Half of the boat ride was like traveling through a tropical bayou and the other half was like sailing through a beautiful lagoon with private islands and spider monkeys. Sitting on the boat reminded me of childhood adventures sailing on Lake Wylie at Camp Thunderbird. It was incredibly peaceful and nostalgic.

3) Now that I have tasted the pollo y carne, (chicken and beef), at Casa Grande, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to appreciate US meat again. This upscale restaurant in Madagalpa marinated its meat and poultry in the most delicious spices and roasted vegetables to make it explode with juices during your mouth-gasm. Another delicious Nicaraguan dish… “Platanas Fritos”… (aka: fried plantains)

4) Some horrible child, (that remains unknown), started a very strange fad at the school of Santa Theresita in Madagalpa by asking us Americans to sign our names in their notebook… Just picture hundreds of little ninos swarming around you as if you were a Disney World character or Angelina Jolie. By the end of the week I had given my “autograph” to about 250 kids. Next year… I’m buying a stamp with my name on it!

5) I taught 3 classes of English at the school of Santa Theresita for four days between the hours of 8:00 AM and noon. The 3 levels I taught were second grade, sixth grade and eleventh grade.

The second graders were absolutely nuts. They were adorable and thought I was a goddess… but never stopped jumping, shouting and competing for my attention and praise. One little boy felt the need to kiss me… constantly… it was slightly inappropriate.

My sixth grade class was more reserved but still managed to disrupt the class by showering me with stickers, key chains and lollipops. Being the sucker that I am… I simply couldn’t deny their tokens of love.

The all-female eleventh grade class was made up of girls ages 15-17. While Antonio taught the class, I humbly sat at the professor’s desk and watched the girls stare at me because of my bright blue eyes. (To them… my china blue ojos made me a freak!)… Despite our rocky beginning, the girls and I bonded during the week and they ended up giving me a gorgeous manicure and a Nicaraguan dress shirt on the last day of class.

During our final hours at Santa Theresita, my travelers and I through an enormous Nicaraguan dance party! The 11th and 10th grade classes along with every one of my fellow travelers broke it down to the sweet sounds of Nicaraguan pop-music.

There are so many other amazing memories that I made this past week in Nicaragua… I befriended/flirted with 2 crazy cab drivers, I watched as my buddy’s face went numb after he ate a hot chili pepper, I saw a man peeing in a public park and slept in a hostel with some very shady characters… But most importantly: I made some wonderful new friends and can’t wait to travel back to Nicaragua with them next year… Spring Break 2010!

Hola Nicaragua: Yo quiero un taco con queso!

Just a quick little post this morning to share with you all my plans for the upcoming week.... (Spring Break wooooo!)

I've been up since 6:00 studying for my last midterm at 10:00. At 11:10, I am going to CVS to take pictures for my study abroad forms due this afternoon, (I'm going to Rome this Summer!) I then have to start packing for a grand adventure that begins tomorrow: a William & Mary Catholic Campus Ministry missions trip to Nicaragua!

There is going to be a grand feast at my house tonight with all 16 of my fellow travelers. At noon tomorrow, we will be on a plane headed to Nicaragua to teach English to poverty-stricken children and assist their incompetent teachers with lesson plans, (I guess I should brush up on my Spanish?)

ERGO: There probably won't be any posts till the 15th or 16th of March (gasp!)... I know it's going to be hard for you all... I truly apologize for leaving you stranded. BUT- I promise to recount all of my amazing adventures as soon as I return. Wish me luck, adios mis amigos!

The Backyard Annunciation

My head is still swimming with art history… BUT…at 3:30 tomorrow afternoon, I will be 1 exam down and 1 to go before jumping a plane and flying south to spend my Spring Break in Nicaragua… “Una cerveza por favor!”

Let’s take a look at “Madonna & Child,” “Enthroned Madonna & Child” & “Virgin & Child”… (a.k.a…. the paintings I’ve been memorizing)… Renaissance artists clearly had little desire to break away from the teachings of the Catholic Church… Mary & Jesus, Jesus & Mary: the most worshiped mother-son combo in history and popular models for Florentine frescoes, temperas and alter pieces.

The Virgin Mary plays a very special role in my life… One summer day when I was 2 ½ years old living in a small town in New Jersey, I skipped outside to pick some juicy red raspberries from the garden in the back of our house. At this time, mommy dearest was washing dishes in the kitchen sink and keeping a watchful eye out the back window to make sure I didn’t try to jump the fence and run away to Grandma’s house.

While peeking out the window, Mom noticed that I was behaving very strangely… I was sitting cross-legged on the grass, ignoring the delicious berries and having a full-on conversation with absolutely no one. My mouth was moving 100-miles per minute as I smiled and stared up into the sky.

While tucking me into bed that night, Mom hesitantly asked me who the hell I was talking to in the backyard that afternoon. Although I don’t remember any of this, I apparently put-on an innocent smile and said….

“Oh Mommy, Mary came to visit me today! You know…Jesus’s mother. She was soooo beautiful!”

Mom took a second to grasp was I had just said… and then replied: “Oh, umm, that’s great sweetheart. What did she say to you?”

“She told me that she loved me very much!” I replied.

Now a bit frightened… Mom turned off my light, kissed me goodnight and immediately ran to the phone. She quickly dialed her mother. The conversation went something like this…

“What the hell have you been telling Hilary! She just told me that she saw Jesus’s freaking mother in the backyard today! Are you brain-washing my kid with your rosaries and holy water?”

“Oh, Maryellen, that is so wonderful! The virgin has come to bestow her blessings on MY granddaughter… MY granddaughter! I knew she was a special child. Oh that Hilary, she’s such a Princess!”….

“AHHHHHH!” (Slightly angered…Mom hung up the phone)

I don’t remember seeing the Virgin Mary in my backyard… I have no idea whether I made-up the whole story or whether Jesus’s mom really did come down to tell me that she loved me. Either way… I earned eternal adoration from my grandmother that day. I also created my mother’s undying belief that I am psychotic. Well, you can’t win ‘em all friends… Amen, and God bless!

The Joys of Dog-hood

My brain is literally about to fall out of my head. My eyes are drooping, my head is wobbling and all I want is a big-ass candy bar!

I’ve been sitting in the Library for 4 hours creating a study-guide for my “Art of the Renaissance” midterm on Thursday. (Big mistake: I didn’t take a break to rest my mind and build up my cramming endurance for Thursday morning)… Therefore- I am taking a break NOW to raise my blood-sugar and momentarily excuse myself from Giotto, Ghiberti and Botticelli.

So, anyway… Mother dearest just rang me up to recount her adventure this morning with Becky, (my small, annoying, smelly, bad-breathed, little rat-looking dog). On the way to the groomer, the malodorous Becky was doing her usual car-routine… She was howling at the top of her lungs, jumping over the seats and trying every possible way to stick her little head out the window, (dogs sure love that breeze!)

Because of all her excitement and nervousness, Becky did something very inappropriate… she took a gigantic poop on the backseat of my mom’s (sort-of) new car!

To put it lightly- Mom was NOT a happy camper… especially when Becky took ANOTHER gigantic poop next to the first one! Apparently, (but not surprisingly), the smell was absolutely unbearable… (ewwwww!)

Thinking that she could just clean it up with some paper towels and Lysol at home, mom kept driving to the groomer with her scarf tightly wrapped around her nose. To her “astonishment” and complete disgust, Becky continued to run around the car and proceeded to smash the poop into the beautiful leather seats.

For the past half-hour, Mom has been scrubbing down the seats with every cleaning product known to man. All I can say about this situation is I’m glad I decided to spend my afternoon stuffing my brain with art history. Despite its torturous nature… memorizing artists and mediums is NOTHING compared to cleaning up poop… The End

Beverage of the Month

I’m going to ignore the fact that I have class today even though there is a freaking snowstorm outside (I just measured… 6+ inches so far!) … and concentrate instead on the warm and chocolaty cocoa that is happily floating in my special “cow-mug” while comforting my soul.

Cocoa… what a delightful little beverage… (Beverage: a liquid substance that one drinks to quench their thirst; usually accompanied with food)… Where would the world be without the concept of beverages? How would we wash down our food?... Fix a parched mouth?... Wake up in the morning!?

In dedication of beverages around the world, I have taken the 12-month calendar and selected a drink to proudly represent each month. Save this list so that you can celebrate the western-year while sipping and guzzling these wonderful drinks…

January- Milk…What is white and beautiful? Milk of course!!... (and so is snow)… Pair the two together this wintry month by building a snowman and then enjoying a warm bowl of oatmeal topped with creamy milk or chocolate-chip cookies dunked in a glass of dairy goodness.
February- Shirley Temple… Ginger ale, grenadine syrup, a slash of orange juice and tons of maraschino cherries. What could possibly make the month of love sweeter?
March- Beer… Make your way down to the pub on March 17th to party with the leprechauns and down a few pints. Help yourself to a Guinness Draught, a Harp Lager or a Smithwick’s Irish Ale… and don’t forget to wear green!
April- Pina Colada… Do you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain? If so, then April is the month for you! Splash in puddles, pick some flowers, blast some Jimmy Buffet and treat yourself to this blissful tropical cocktail.
May- Coca Cola… What do we celebrate in May? (Mothers Day)… What happens on May 8th? (National “Have a Coke” Day)… What is my mother’s favorite drink? (Coke!)… Kick back and relax with your mom while sipping this old-time American favorite.
June- Ice-cream Soda (a.k.a. Rootbeer/Coke float)… June 20th is National “Ice-cream Soda” Day... So stop by your local malt shop or ice-cream parlor & order yourself this scrumptious treat to celebrate the start of summer… (If you want to save $$... make it yourself: Vanilla ice-cream, soda, glass, straw & spoon… DONE!)
July-Snapple Peach Iced-Tea… If you haven’t tried this amazing drink, July is the month to do it! The sun is shining down and you’ve been swimming for hours… go find some shade and savor this delicious mix of sugary perfection and ultimate comfort.
August- Water… Don’t fuck around this month. Dehydration and heat-stroke are common occurrences in August because of disgustingly high temperatures and unbearable humidity. Ergo: skip the liquor, pass the fruit juice, throw away the soda and pour yourself a glass of quality H20.
September- Coffee… September 14th is National Cream-Filled Donut Day! What goes better with donuts than a grande cup of flavorful coffee? Caffeinate yourself after a wonderful August vacation as you head back to the daily grind of school/work.
October- Starbucks Caramel-Apple Cider… Obvious fact: Apple cider is a classic fall signature. But instead of buying a gallon at the grocery-store, make a trip to Starbucks and sample their Caramel-Apple Cider specialty drink. Sweet and warm, it rightfully accompanies the brisk fall weather.
November- Wine… Everybody knows that a large glass of wine is the perfect compliment to turkey and stuffing. Watch the Macy’s Day Parade on Turkey-Day Thursday then march to the kitchen to baste the bird while pouring yourself a generous glass of Chardonnay or Merlot.
December- Jack Daniels… Forget the eggnog. Screw the peppermint cocoa… It’s time to get serious during the holiday season. Dealing with obnoxious relatives, maxing out credit cards and listening to one more version of “Silver Bells” can only be tolerated with an adequate buzz… Grap your flask, say Happy Birthday to Jesus and get ready for a very pleasant holiday :)