These are a few of my favorite THIIINGGGSSSS!

While ellipticizing a few days ago, I decided to watch the first half of The Sound of Music. (TV was sucking big time, and nothing gets my blood pumping like a good musical number! "The Hills are Aliiiivveee")... I've always loved The Sound of Music. In case I've never bragged about it before, I played Liesl in my 8th grade Junior High School performance! (I'm kind of a big deal)

To emulate Fraulein Maria this morning, I'd like to share with you all, "A Few of My Favorite Thingggssss!"...

1) My Princess Mug: A few years ago for Christmas, my grandparents decided to get all of their grandchildren mugs from Our Name is Mud. Mine said "Princess" & my brother's said "Genius." All of the other grandchildren just got mugs with their names on them. (Are we the favorites? I think so! Have our cousins resented us since? You bet!)

2) My Nasal Rinse Kit: Allergy season is upon us people. And this little writer needs relief! Claritin just doesn't cut it sometimes, so filling this bad boy up with saline solution and squeezing it up my nostrils each morning works WONDERS! Watching it leak out the other nostril is just an added bonus. (So sexy, I know)...

3) My Homemade Photo Booth Frame: Brian and I got these photo booth pictures at a bar in NYC a few months ago but I couldn't find a frame anywhere. ERGO: I constructed one myself out of random wood I found in my basement and lots of silver glitter! (Truth: the frame sucks & the picture falls out all the time. Posting this here is a plea for one of you to please buy me a new one).

"One of My UN-favorite Thiiinnnnngsss"

Dog Poop on the Driveway: Little Becky's gotten into a horrible habit of taking all her craps on our driveway. It's most unpleasant and embarrassing.

That's right, I'm talking about you, Missy! Don't just lay there looking all cute and innocent...

The Blue Line meets Jersey Shore!

Brian's a mechanical engineer and works hard to make airplanes safe for us. But when he's not analyzing confusing physics and math equations, he's being a rockstar!

His band is going to be playing at Shamrock Fest @ RFK Stadium next month on March 12th. Buy your tickets HERE and come see them rock out next to DJ Pauly D! (Yes, the Jersey Shore phenomenon)... WOO!

If I were a Vampire...

Lately I have been getting into The Vampire Diaries, a TV show about two vampire brothers who cause a string of mysterious events when they return to the town of Mystic Falls, VA.

Watching the brothers use their vampire powers for the greater good, (or evil), has really made me wonder... What would I do if I was a vampire? I have therefore compiled this list of...

"Awesome Things I'd Do If I Were To Become A Vampire"

1) Quit my job and finish my novel.

2) Fly to Scotland & use powerful vampire charisma to lure J.K. Rowling into helping edit, publish, and promote said novel.

3) Go to a bank & lure random bank-teller into giving me several million dollars. Repeat annually.

4) Live in California where the sun is always shining. 

5) Figure out a way to survive in the sun due to new habitat.

6) Use powerful vampire charisma to convince politicians of worldwide veganism. 

7) Survive on blood from blood banks & hospitals, (not others necks).

8) Buy trendy expensive clothes to adorn hot vampire body.

9) Travel often.

10) Use large portion of stolen money to save abandoned puppies.

11) Steal more money & help feed starving children in Africa.

12) Buy a dachshund. Name him Unagi. Take him everywhere!

Assaulted in a Library!

Almost every Saturday between the hours of noon and 1pm as I am coming home from Brian's, (I'm kind of habitual), you will find me frolicking through one of our local libraries embracing my inner nerd.

You see... I LOVE the books! Particularly fiction. Reading relaxes me so much & temporarily transports my mind to a different setting... and plot, (book humor). As long as the book doesn't suck, reading makes me very happy. (And the fact I haven't met any vampires in the real world doesn't bother me at all.... I swear!)

So yesterday, (Saturday), at approximately 12:35pm I was happily browsing through one of our local libraries. I was looking at the rack titled "Popular Book Club Favorites" when someone grabbed my ass. Yes, someone.... grabbed... my ass... in a library!

The first thing that came to my mind was: "Brian, what are you doing here?" It didn't even register to me that some perverted stranger could be fondling my buttocks. But then I thought... "Wait, I just left Brian's! Oh my God, a stranger just touched my ass!" And so, extremely flustered and confused, I turned around to discover the identity of my ass grabber.

And it was my mother. Oh-my-freaking-GOD, I know! My mother grabbed my ass in a public library. I feel like I've reached some sort of ultimate low. At any age, this unusual act would lead to extreme embarrassment and mortification. So I just stood there, dumbstruck, as my mother had to lean again a book shelf because she was laughing so hard. I couldn't talk for about 60 seconds as I registered the situation. After about a minute I chuckled humorously and walked away, leaving my mother with happy tears streaming down her face.

F-M-L!

Adulthood

Have you ever had one of those... "Oh my God, I'm getting old!" moments?

Earlier this week, I found out that one of my closest childhood friends is pregnant. It seems like only yesterday that she and I were devouring cheese doodles at sleepover parties, having picnics in a big field in our neighborhood, and... (God help us), tying a bed-sheet around my waist and belaying me down the side of her beach house! (I had an interesting childhood).

I guess my point is... Where did all the time go? High School was a complete blur, (possibly due to my repressing most of it). College absolutely flew by! (Maybe I drank too much?)... And NOW: I find myself with a full time job, too tired to party on weekends, pregnant friends, engaged acquaintances, car problems, and bills to pay!

I lay in bed the other night pondering these occurrences and came to a bright conclusion... Change is inevitable. It's also exciting, nerve-wracking, and downright scary. BUT- it often provides excellent opportunities to chit-chat and throw parties! ERGO: We should all embrace the new and unavoidable happenings in life with positivity, but still hold on to the things that make us happy. (I say this as an excuse to listen to Harry Potter books on tape forever).

Carpe Diem!

Emma Go Bragh!

Meet Emma Smith...

Emma is my little cousin who was adopted from China about 5 years ago. She lives in Ireland outside of Dublin with my Aunt, Uncle, and other cousin Brendan. The last time I saw Emma was at our Grandpa's funeral last May.

Emma is going to be baptized this spring. When my Aunt and Uncle asked her who she wanted as her Godmother, she said... "Hilary!"... They called the next day to ask if I'd oblige and I almost cried. I was so touched!

Ergo: I'M FLYING TO IRELAND in the spring for Emma's baptism! Even better, Brian's agreed to come along w/ me and we're going to drink Guinness for a week all over the country.

My question for you all... Have you ever been to Ireland? Do you have any suggestions of what we can't miss over there? Any advice at all about pub-hopping or how to cure potato overload?

Dear Snow, We're DONE!

Last night was, quite possibly, one of the scariest experiences of my life. In 4.5 hours it snowed 8 inches in the Washington, DC area. During those hours, I was stuck on the Beltway in a zombie apocalyptic nightmare! 

The entire beltway was a car graveyard. There were flashing lights everywhere, ambulances that couldn't get through, trees down, wires in the roads, and cold wet white stuff piled high everywhere. They should really make a video game called "Thundersnow" where you have to dodge all the broken-down cars on the highway while trying to prevent your vehicle from spinning out. If you can get home without running out of gas or hitting a road divider, you win!

Before last night, I used to love snow. I would watch it falling from my window and immediately start smiling with thoughts of warm cocoa and snow angels! Now, however, I would like to leave a flaming bag of poo on snow's doorstep. Due to our recent falling out, I've written snow a poem that I'd like to share with you all...

Breaking up with Snow

I've always spent my winter days awaiting your arrival

In all that time you've never, never, EVER let me down

But now I see, that all that time, I was really in denial

Cause you're really just a menace that wreaks havoc on the town!

The snowmen I used to build left imprints on my heart

Your beautiful whiteness always made me warm and jolly inside

But I must say now, my cold white friend, that we need some time apart

Your true self was revealed last night during my horrible, treacherous ride!

You're a savior to the children when they find out there's no school

You're also fun to clump in balls and throw at friends and mates

But you're a dangerous, hazardous, and destructive little fool

And that is you must now find another girl to date!