If I were a Vampire...

Lately I have been getting into The Vampire Diaries, a TV show about two vampire brothers who cause a string of mysterious events when they return to the town of Mystic Falls, VA.

Watching the brothers use their vampire powers for the greater good, (or evil), has really made me wonder... What would I do if I was a vampire? I have therefore compiled this list of...

"Awesome Things I'd Do If I Were To Become A Vampire"

1) Quit my job and finish my novel.

2) Fly to Scotland & use powerful vampire charisma to lure J.K. Rowling into helping edit, publish, and promote said novel.

3) Go to a bank & lure random bank-teller into giving me several million dollars. Repeat annually.

4) Live in California where the sun is always shining. 

5) Figure out a way to survive in the sun due to new habitat.

6) Use powerful vampire charisma to convince politicians of worldwide veganism. 

7) Survive on blood from blood banks & hospitals, (not others necks).

8) Buy trendy expensive clothes to adorn hot vampire body.

9) Travel often.

10) Use large portion of stolen money to save abandoned puppies.

11) Steal more money & help feed starving children in Africa.

12) Buy a dachshund. Name him Unagi. Take him everywhere!