Wisdom Teeth of DEATH!

I'd like to talk to you all today about wisdom teeth removal...

It's absolutely HORRIBLE! Worst possibly idea anyone ever had. I got my wisdom teeth removed one week ago today, and I'm still in pain. YES, 8 days later and I'm still not functioning. All 4 of my wisdom teeth were incredibly impacted, (see picture above), which is likely the cause of all my suffering...

I took 4 Vicoden and 16 Advil each day for 5 days as my doctor ordered, and was still in pain. All that medicine did was make me high, delusional, dizzy, nauseous, exhausted, moody, and emotionally unstable. Since stopping the Vicoden, I've had terrible headaches. Headaches that make me cry, whine, and not want to do anything but sit on the couch and mope.

On top of all the pain: I can't open my mouth wider than a centimeter, everything I eat gets stuck in my tooth holes, my back gums are detached from my teeth and constantly bleed, and my nasal passage is now somehow connected to my mouth so that when I sneeze, all the snot comes out my mouth! I've been SO MISERABLE!

PHEW, I really needed a good vent. Thanks for reading... In other news: Sex & the City II comes out this Friday! Everyone should go and see it. WOOHOO!

Paul W. Smith

Hey, Strangers! Long time no see. It's been a busy last month of the semester and I forgot to keep you updated, (I sincerely apologize)... Here are a few big milestones that have happened this past month...

1) I'm going to be interning at Northern Virginia magazine this summer as a PR/Editorial intern. I start tomorrow morning, it should be great!

2) I walked at Graduation yesterday! My family was slightly pissed that I took off my robe before they could snap hundreds of pictures, but it was a lovely little ceremony. Now: I just have to take two classes this summer and then I'll be officially done with college!

3) My grandpa died yesterday. We got the news shortly after my Graduation festivities. He had been suffering from cancer for a long time. He was an amazing man. He was lovable, interesting, sarcastic, successful, and incredibly entertaining. I'm really going to miss him.

As the only journalist in the family, I was given the job of writing Papa's obituary. I've pasted it here in recognition of my incredible Papa:

Paul W. Smith, a Cranford, NJ resident for 57 years, died in his home on Saturday morning at the age of 83. Smith was born in Brooklyn, NY in 1926 and served in the south pacific theater as a master sergeant during World War II from 1945-1947. Smith graduated from St. Francis College in Brooklyn, NY in 1949 and founded the Cranford Recreation Basketball league in 1966. Smith had a long, distinguished career in publication sales. He is survived by his wife of 57 years, Jeannette C. Smith (Galvin) of Cranford; four children, Maryellen S. Leister of Virginia, Thomas P. Smith of Ireland, Victoria A. Goski of Cranford, and Paul G. Smith of Cranford; and nine grandchildren. In lieu of flowers, please make donations to St. John’s soup kitchen in Newark, NJ or Cranford Family Care. You may pay your respects at Dooley’s Funeral Home on Tuesday, May 11 from 4-8 p.m. A memorial mass will be held at St. Michael’s Parish on Wednesday, May 12 at 10:30 a.m.

The Surprise Visitor...

I was walking up to my apartment the other day when I noticed my door was open. I started freaking out! Next to the open door were six boxes full of rags, paint, brushes, cement, and random tools...

Just then, our crazy Turkish landlord came out of our bathroom and screamed, "Oh Hello, Beautiful Girl! I'm glad you're here. I'm fixing your apartment because of the letter!" (You see: Our apartment is very old and full of chipped paint, mold, cracks, and broken windows. After we asked the landlord to come over and fix these things about 7 times, with no response from him, we asked the DC housing inspector to come over and investigate. The housing inspector threatened to fine our landlord if he didn't act immediately)...

Our landlord is legally allowed to enter our apartment and make repairs without telling us. BUT: Is it not common courtesy to call before coming over to completely tear the place up? He almost gave me a heart attack! PLUS- he was working in the bathroom, so I couldn't shower that day, (I apologize to anyone who saw me)... He had moved all of our belongings out of the bathroom, left cement in the kitchen sink on our dishes, had random tools scattered everywhere... It was not a pretty sight.

Mr. Landlord tried to make the excuse that he jumped off a bridge to save a little boy, lost his fingers, and that's why he couldn't respond to our emails or come over sooner. First of all- his wife manages their email account, so she should have responded to us. Second of all- my roommate Googled this guy to check if he was mentioned in any news story about jumping off a bridge... NOTHING came up. How stupid does he think we are? He also started blabbering about how he wanted to end things on good terms in case we needed each other for recommendations or government clearances... umm, WHAT?

SO: the repairs.... To fix the mold that was all over our bathroom and in my roommate's closet, all he did was put drywall on top of the mold and seal it over. I'm not going to lie, it looks a lot better. But the problem isn't solved! There's is STILL mold growing underneath the drywall! How gross is THAT?... In spots with lesser mold, all the guy did was paint over it, in a different shade of paint than the walls, (see photos)...

Here's the new drywall ceiling in the bathroom. (Notice the "awesome" paint job above the window?)

 Notice how two walls are tan and one is white?  (This isn't because of the light!)

Just another example of the multi-colored paint job...

Lucky for us: We'll be out of here in a month! I hope the next tenants don't die of mold exposure, and they better appreciate color varieties!

My Heart "Yarns" For You!

Hey friends! I just wanted to drop by real quickly today to show you a little something Brian sent me this afternoon. I've been incredibly stressed and busy this week with an insane, and I mean INSANE amount of school work, so Brian sent me this cute little picture text to make me feel better...

Text: "You are so......."

HAHAHAHA! How cute/corny/adorable is that? He used leftover string from his kick-ass Halloween costume to write me a secret message. He's so clever and crafty :) ....(be jealous)

Whole Foods Bitchery & Moldy Walls

Two things I'd like to cover today...

1) My insane loyalty to the glorious Whole Foods was challenged earlier today. Standing in the check-out line with my groceries in hand, the female clerk at the register turned to me and asked, "Umm, do you need something," in quite possibly the rudest and sassiest tone I've ever heard. Instead of screaming, "Yes, bitch, please use your 'mad skills' to bag my pricey dinner," I smiled and said, "Umm, yes, I need to be checked out," at which point the lovely register lady, (named Carmen), rolled her eyes and silently began scanning my food, huge frown on her face. I'm sorry: but WTF, Whole Foods!? If you're gonna charge me $5.00 for a piece of lettuce, hire some decent service to smile at me while you steal my money. JEEZ!

2) Something has been looming in my apartment, almost since I moved in last July. The unwanted loomer: MOLD! Yes, it's disgusting. My roommate has it growing in her closet, it's clearly growing on the walls in our bathroom, and the musty smell is overwhelming when you walk through the front door. Recently, the smell has been worse. I try to keep the windows open as much as possible, especially after I've taken a warm steamy shower, but it's really starting to bother me. I'm actually getting quite nervous for my health, and I'm seriously considering moving-out early and moving back w/ my parents to avoid the unsanitary conditions. What do YOU think I should do?

"Remember Me"...(will do!)

I haven't seen a good chick-flick in years... Seriously! Who can honestly say there's been a memorable girl's-night movie since "How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days," "Center Stage," and "The Notebook"?... (The Twilight and High School Musical films don't count. Those are in their own separate category of amazingness)...

My dear female friends, we can finally stop waiting for the next chick-flick classic. IT-HAS-ARRIVED and will be opening in theaters across the US this Friday, March 12. It's called "Remember Me" and stars everyone's favorite pasty vampire, Robert Pattinson. (Pierce Brosnan also plays a major character. And let's not lie- he looks pretty damn good for 57!)...

The film is about a love story between Tyler Hawkins, (Pattinson), and Ally Craig, (the slightly masculine Emilie de Ravin). Ally's father, a cop, busts-up Tyler's face and arrests him after he gets into a bar fight, and Tyler tries to get back at daddy cop by dating his little girl. And then, SHOCKER... Tyler really falls for Ally, and then he tells her the truth about why he asked her out and they get into a fight, but then they make-up, and then... OOO, I can't tell you the rest because I'll start blabbering spoilers. But trust me: it's gooood!

One thing that kind of pissed me off was Pattinson played his awkward Edward Cullen card for most of the film. It was another uncomfortable & emo performance that made you wish for him to stopped grinning like he's constipated. (Don't worry though, he's still totally hot!)

Unfortunately, it's not easy for me to tell you all about the this film without giving away its surprises, plot twists, and knee-slapping jokes. ERGO: You'll have to take my word for it and see it yourselves. Trust me, you won't be disappointed!

Welcome Home, Betacus!

Brian and I took a big step this weekend... (BIG step, people, BIG step).... We went to Pets-mart and bought a beautiful beta fish AHH!

We got to the store and it was SUCH a hard selection process. I wanted to bring ALL the fish home with us, as well as all the dogs at the adoption fair outside, all the guinea pigs, hamsters, emus... (But NOT the birds, gross! Animals that secrete white poop scare me)...

We decided on Betacus because he kept waving his little fins at me saying, "Hi, Hilary! You're so pretty and smart and I'd love for you to bring me home. I'll be the best fish EVER, pllleeeaasseee pick me, PICK ME!"... So of course, we picked-up his little plastic jar and took him home. We also bought a kick-ass turtle figurine, (see picture), so he wouldn't get too lonely.

Isn't he beautiful!? We love him dearly and hope he doesn't die. THE END!