Summer (Pros & Cons)

Due to the 95+ degree weather this past week, I think it's clear that summer has finally made its way to the DC area. With the dawning of the summer season comes many exciting and wonderful things! (As well as some seriously awful and disappointing things). The following is my personal list of the pros & cons of the summer season:

Summer PROS:

1) Extra long days: (The sun is up at 6:30am when I wake-up for work and doesn't set until almost 9:00pm. Gotta love that extra sunshine)...

2) Pink lemonade: (The greatest drink ever invented! Besides chocolate soymilk, of course)...

3) Corn-on-the-cob & Watermelon: (NOM NOM NOM!)

4) Trips to the Beach: (The beach is my favorite place on the planet! Yes, it may just trump Disney World. I freaking love the beach with the sand and the shells and the salt-water and even the selfish pooping seagulls!)

5) Fireworks: (OOOO, so pretty & shiny!)...

6) Outdoor Exercise: (It's nice not to be cooped inside riding a treadmill or elliptical like a freaking hamster. The great outdoors is calling to me & my running shoes!)...

7) The end to allergy season: (Spring sucks because of all the pollen & ragweed. Now that it's summer, I can finally breathe again & my nostrils are happy campers!)...

Summer CONS:

1) Excessive heat/humidity: (My fragile, temperate-sensitive body simply wilts in the heat. It also sucks walking into work all sweaty after lunch... gross!)

2) Baseball Season: (I don't care if it's the "Great American Past-time." Baseball is BORING and a lame excuse for dudes with no endurance to call themselves athletes)...

3) Kids out of School: (Watching kids play outside from my office window is extremely depressing. It just reminds me that I'm an adult now and am not allowed to have fun)...

But despite the few cons, summer really is a wonderful time. So get off your couch & go play some base... I mean, go enjoy the sunshine!

Back from the Shire!

Fair lads and lasses, I've returned from the great country of Ireland! And what a memorable trip it was. Where to start my great tale?...

The Flights: Never, under ANY circumstances, will I fly Continental Airlines again. Every single leg of our journey was delayed or royally screwed in some way. Bogus delays, incompetent customer service members, shutting down Dublin airport for Obama, having to fly into Belfast instead of Dublin, nothing to eat but granola bars and apricots... The flights were nothing less than a stressful mess. BUT....

The Ireland: OH, the Ireland! What a beautiful green country. I have never seen so many sheep and cows in my life. It rains daily so fertilizer is completely unnecessary and everything is SO green. Brian and I began our 6-day vacation in Dublin's fair city, "where the girls are so pretty!"... We walked around the whole city while I pointed at everything & made Brian take lots of random pictures. Like this really cool lamp-post...

We visited the famous Guinness Factory and got some free brews at the museum's Gravity Bar. Brian loved his Guinness! But, as I dislike all dark beers, I thought it tasted like dirt and tar.



The next morning we woke up and began our tour of southern Ireland. We rode around on this modest automobile for 3 days visiting all of the country's greatest attractions such as the Cliffs of Moher, the Blarney Castle, the Ring of Kerry, and the fields where Braveheart was filmed!

 

We kissed the Blarney Stone, met some penguins at a quaint little aquarium in the town of Dingle, looked at a fertility stone, (Brian banned me from touching it), & even sang karaoke w/ some crazy mates we made from Australia. We drank lots of beer, listened to some authentic Irish music, (Mumford & Sons), and enjoyed the fact that all of the natives looked just like us!



We stayed in some five-star hostels, (by that I mean there were 5 legs on all the insects in the showers), we ate our weight in potatoes, and enjoyed the commentary of our drunken Irish tourguide, Joseph, who always drove the Paddywagon 30 miles over the speed limit.

Oh, and how could I forget? Emma's Baptism! On our last day in Ireland, Brian & I bussed it down to the town of Wexford for the Christening of my new Chirish Goddaughter, Emma Lou Claire Smith. She is quite an energetic young girl who recently won a gold medal in gymnastics class, (such talent she has... she takes after her Godmother!)

And now, I am very happy to be back at home to recover from a dismal case of jet-lag. (And to feed my body nutrients that aren't found in potatoes and beer). May the luck of the Irish be with you on this wonderful long weekend!

Run for the Animals!

A few weekends ago, Brian and I ran a 5K "Run for the Animals." We paid $30 each to drive an hour into MD at 7:00am on a Sunday and get sweaty running up a bunch of hills. (Who doesn't love that!?)

The best part of the race was seeing all the dogs people brought to cheer on the runners! (OK, the best part was really the bounty of free snacks at the end... but the dogs were pretty cute)... One dog was 1/2 lab and 1/2 dachshund. That definitely led to some pretty interesting/unnerving images in my head.

ANYWAYS- Here is our finish line picture. Leave it to Brian to give a fantastic thumbs-up to the camera...

These are a few of my favorite THIIINGGGSSSS!

While ellipticizing a few days ago, I decided to watch the first half of The Sound of Music. (TV was sucking big time, and nothing gets my blood pumping like a good musical number! "The Hills are Aliiiivveee")... I've always loved The Sound of Music. In case I've never bragged about it before, I played Liesl in my 8th grade Junior High School performance! (I'm kind of a big deal)

To emulate Fraulein Maria this morning, I'd like to share with you all, "A Few of My Favorite Thingggssss!"...

1) My Princess Mug: A few years ago for Christmas, my grandparents decided to get all of their grandchildren mugs from Our Name is Mud. Mine said "Princess" & my brother's said "Genius." All of the other grandchildren just got mugs with their names on them. (Are we the favorites? I think so! Have our cousins resented us since? You bet!)

2) My Nasal Rinse Kit: Allergy season is upon us people. And this little writer needs relief! Claritin just doesn't cut it sometimes, so filling this bad boy up with saline solution and squeezing it up my nostrils each morning works WONDERS! Watching it leak out the other nostril is just an added bonus. (So sexy, I know)...

3) My Homemade Photo Booth Frame: Brian and I got these photo booth pictures at a bar in NYC a few months ago but I couldn't find a frame anywhere. ERGO: I constructed one myself out of random wood I found in my basement and lots of silver glitter! (Truth: the frame sucks & the picture falls out all the time. Posting this here is a plea for one of you to please buy me a new one).

"One of My UN-favorite Thiiinnnnngsss"

Dog Poop on the Driveway: Little Becky's gotten into a horrible habit of taking all her craps on our driveway. It's most unpleasant and embarrassing.

That's right, I'm talking about you, Missy! Don't just lay there looking all cute and innocent...

The Blue Line meets Jersey Shore!

Brian's a mechanical engineer and works hard to make airplanes safe for us. But when he's not analyzing confusing physics and math equations, he's being a rockstar!

His band is going to be playing at Shamrock Fest @ RFK Stadium next month on March 12th. Buy your tickets HERE and come see them rock out next to DJ Pauly D! (Yes, the Jersey Shore phenomenon)... WOO!

If I were a Vampire...

Lately I have been getting into The Vampire Diaries, a TV show about two vampire brothers who cause a string of mysterious events when they return to the town of Mystic Falls, VA.

Watching the brothers use their vampire powers for the greater good, (or evil), has really made me wonder... What would I do if I was a vampire? I have therefore compiled this list of...

"Awesome Things I'd Do If I Were To Become A Vampire"

1) Quit my job and finish my novel.

2) Fly to Scotland & use powerful vampire charisma to lure J.K. Rowling into helping edit, publish, and promote said novel.

3) Go to a bank & lure random bank-teller into giving me several million dollars. Repeat annually.

4) Live in California where the sun is always shining. 

5) Figure out a way to survive in the sun due to new habitat.

6) Use powerful vampire charisma to convince politicians of worldwide veganism. 

7) Survive on blood from blood banks & hospitals, (not others necks).

8) Buy trendy expensive clothes to adorn hot vampire body.

9) Travel often.

10) Use large portion of stolen money to save abandoned puppies.

11) Steal more money & help feed starving children in Africa.

12) Buy a dachshund. Name him Unagi. Take him everywhere!

Assaulted in a Library!

Almost every Saturday between the hours of noon and 1pm as I am coming home from Brian's, (I'm kind of habitual), you will find me frolicking through one of our local libraries embracing my inner nerd.

You see... I LOVE the books! Particularly fiction. Reading relaxes me so much & temporarily transports my mind to a different setting... and plot, (book humor). As long as the book doesn't suck, reading makes me very happy. (And the fact I haven't met any vampires in the real world doesn't bother me at all.... I swear!)

So yesterday, (Saturday), at approximately 12:35pm I was happily browsing through one of our local libraries. I was looking at the rack titled "Popular Book Club Favorites" when someone grabbed my ass. Yes, someone.... grabbed... my ass... in a library!

The first thing that came to my mind was: "Brian, what are you doing here?" It didn't even register to me that some perverted stranger could be fondling my buttocks. But then I thought... "Wait, I just left Brian's! Oh my God, a stranger just touched my ass!" And so, extremely flustered and confused, I turned around to discover the identity of my ass grabber.

And it was my mother. Oh-my-freaking-GOD, I know! My mother grabbed my ass in a public library. I feel like I've reached some sort of ultimate low. At any age, this unusual act would lead to extreme embarrassment and mortification. So I just stood there, dumbstruck, as my mother had to lean again a book shelf because she was laughing so hard. I couldn't talk for about 60 seconds as I registered the situation. After about a minute I chuckled humorously and walked away, leaving my mother with happy tears streaming down her face.

F-M-L!