August...

HHEEELLLOOO Blogger friends! What a hectic month it's been. Here are a few highlights...

1) I took a trip to the Jersey Shore w/ my mom's side of the family. Brian came along too for a few days! Every relative under 25 was thrown into a room of single beds and we were forced to sleep like we were at summer camp or in an orphanage... it was awkward. Anyways- some of my cousins actually saw a few members of the Jersey Shore cast walking down the boardwalk where the show's filmed in Seaside Heights! I missed out on Snooki and The Situation, but did get to meet a new friend playing mini-golf...

2) I started working at my first big-girl job 2 weeks ago! I'm doing some administration & HR at a big dental practice in Virginia. But I'm not going to say anything else about it because I don't want all my crazy internet fans coming to stalk me at work. Seriously, a girl can only sign so many autographs!

3) My novel, (which I described in a recent posted), is well on its way to being the greatest teen fiction success of the decade! I may be posting teasers here in the near future, so keep your eye out for some exciting spoilers!

Teaser #1: The protagonist is Allie Hanson, a fifteen year-old girl and freshman in high school who has a miniature dachshund named Unagi! Allie's a ridiculously fast swimmer and loves sugary foods. When she was five years-old, Allie's mother left her family... and no one's heard from her since. 

Real Housewives of DC

Did anyone catch the new Real Housewives of DC last night? If you didn't, I ENVY you!

WOW- what a horrible reality show. I'd never seen any of the Real Housewives seasons before, but wanted to check this one out because it takes place in my 'hood. After watching the show, I have less respect for the people running this city, have an increased desire to move to the west coast, and am even more ashamed of growing up in this suburb, (one of the housewives lives in my hometown... UGH!)

Each of the woman on this show is more vapid and vomit-inducing than the next. It was painful watching people whose only life goal is to climb Washington's social ladder, all without having a single real friend in the process. I haven't seen females gossip so much about each others weight, appearances, and flamboyant attitudes since high school! (Indirect quote from one housewife- "I'm sorry, but why would I ever go to a party with second tier people when I could be spending time with the elite?")

In conclusion, the Real Housewives of DC made me feel disgusted and embarrassed for growing up around such elitist, snooty, back-stabbing whores. I will not be watching it again. THE END!

Vegetable Picking & Indian Cuisine

Yesterday was a super fun day! After waking up ridiculously early and working a quick shift at the gym, I came home, realized I had no homework to do, (b/c I'm done with school FOREVER), and decided to fill my day with adventure by calling up the studly Brian!

Because it was such a beautiful day, the two of us drove down 66W to Markham, Virginia, (18 miles from West Virginia)... where there are actual fields and mountains and shit. We went to a pick-your-own vegetable/fruit farm, grabbed ourselves a cute little basket, and went a-pickin'!

One of the veggies we collected was a weird looking squash, (see picture), which after research I've discovered to be Green Tint Scallop Squash. (Or possibly an Early White Bush Scallop Squash... but who really cares?)... We then drove down an incredibly sketchy road towards the peach trees where we used a gigantic killer claw to pick the fruits off the trees. We're going to use the peaches to bake a kick-ass pie later this week!

After driving home, we stopped at the grocery store to pick up some ingredients and embarked on a strange, scary, and foreign task... we cooked, AHHH!... Don't worry, everything went fine. More than fine, actually! Because of a sudden stroke of genius I had, we created an Indian dish called Chana Masala. Basically- chickpeas in homemade tomato sauce with a million spices. It-was-delicious! (see picture)... But then I accidentally drank too much wine and ended up passing out by 10:30. The wine glass just magically kept refilling, I swear! (haha)... Thank you for reading about my special adventures!

My Inevitably Successful Future

As you all know from my last post, I've officially graduated college... WOOO!

So with that privilege comes the societal expectation of "finding a job" or whatever. In additional to the amazing 40 hr/week occupation that I expect to land, (unwarranted proud smirk), I plan on making the big bucks by becoming the next J.K. Rowling! I'm going to write a book series so captivating that people will be asking, "Harry Who?" and "Dumble-bore?"

Here's what I got so far... 1) The series has to be fiction, 2) There has to be a character who in one's mind looks like Zac Efron, 3) The series has to be fiction, 4) There has to be a talking fish named Betacus who thinks he's a shark, & 5) Three words... Oprah's book club!

So if any of you have any great ideas that aren't completely stupid and/or a waste of my time, please share them here and I promise to include you in the book's acknowledgments. Start churning those noggins, readers. Let's make some $$!

No more teachers! No more books!

Exactly 17 seconds ago, I sent my professor an email with my final exam attached to it. This act may seem ordinary for a college student, but it is extraordinary today because it means that I AM DONE WITH COLLEGE!!

Four years of the hardest work of my life are behind me. I can proudly say that I graduated with a kick-ass GPA and a degree that will land me the greatest job in the UNIVERSE!... (or at least one I really like, haha)... I have degree! I be educated! I am learned! I full of knowledges!

And now, how to celebrate? Should I throw a little party and get tipsy with my homies? Should I burn everything I own with the American University logo on it? Should I have my parents buy me an exceptionally expensive gift, or better yet- buy myself an exceptionally expensive gift with their money!? Oh, the possibilities are endless!

For the time being, I am going to go and watch "glee" on Neflix because the mail just arrived and that little red packet excites me. But after that... the world awaits!

Birthday Festivities! (not mine, sadly... only 3.5 more months!)

This past weekend was Brian's 24th birthday... WOOO!!

We started the celebration early Friday night by going out to dinner with his mom, dad, brother, & brother's girlfriend at a Thai restaurant in Bethesda. It was a very authentic little place- lots of animal figurines and other classy decorations all over the room. What made it especially awesome was the fact that it was 105 degrees outside and I was sweating profusely the entire night. Always a plus!

On his actual birthday, (Saturday), I went to work. HAHA, yes- this is sadly true, I'm a horrible girlfriend. But then after work I took him to Chipotle and into DC to a museum... which I had to go to for class... again, horrible girlfriend. For his birthday dinner, we went to a restaurant in Reston called "Passion Fish," (best name ever), drunk some wine and dined on delicious food. We then went back to his place and I made him dessert, (chocolate pudding garnished with Swedish fish... long story...), and gave him his PRESENTS!!

One of the gifts I got him was a manly L.L. Bean toiletry case. He travels a lot for his job and always throws his toothbrush & such in old Pepperidge Farm or Ziploc bags, so I wanted to upgrade him to less disposable carry-ons. I also bought him a ROADid bracelet b/c he's running a 10k this October and wanted him to be properly identified in case he got hit by an idiot driver or mauled by a bear or something. I also got his band's website engraved on the bracelet so they could get free promotion if he was knocked unconscious somehow. As I said earlier, I'm a great girlfriend! I got my man's safety in mind :)

Happy Birthday, babe!

The Impulse Purchase

While most college classes ask you to buy insanely expensive textbooks, I got off easy this summer with a class that only amounted to about $35 in material fees. WIN FOR ME! To make-up for the lack of money I was spending, I bought this cute little journal at Borders. It was a total impulse buy and I realize now that it looks like a table-cloth with a charm bracelet on it. Curse you, Borders, for putting things like this at the register where naive marketing victims like myself are maliciously lured and overtaken! You should be ashamed.

WELLLLL... Now I'm stuck with this empty lined journal and, as a journalist, it would be an absolute sin not to utilize it. But what to do with it? I've tried keeping "diaries" in the past and every experiment ultimately failed because I was either too lazy to write in them or completely forgot to. I also tried keeping a recipe book once, but seeing as I almost never cook, that was a pretty pointless endeavor. I'm not much of a poet and personally find the whole "poetry writing" process pretty stupid. So basically- If any of you readers have ideas as to what I should do with this impulsively purchased piece of picnic blanket, let me know!