The Lamenting Thanksgiving Vegan (A Poem)

I used to love Thanksgiving with all it's tasty, carby food.
I used to stuff my face with turkey till my stomach had to be glued!

But now, I'm afraid, I don't eat turkey, for I chose to go meat-free.
I steer quite clear of meat and fish & say, "No dairy & eggs for me!"

So I stand here a vegan, a Thanksgiving vegan, just wondering what to eat.
For I can't consume turkey, stuffing, pie, mom's mashed potatoes, & buttery treats!

After dutifully watching the Macy's Parade and going for me pre-feast run,
I grab a plate and approach the food table, bracing myself for a meal devoid of fun.

But as I grab the spooon to the soggy canned peas...
My mother whispers to me, "Come with me, if you please!"

"I know that Thanksgiving is hard for a vegan who can't eat turkey & gravy.
So I prepared a few options for you to enjoy that I hope you will find quite savory!

"Over here is a roast of plump, juicy, tofurky & sweet potatoes w/ cinnamon & spices.
And here is a pumpkin pie made from tofu to help fulfill all your sweet vices!

"And last but not least we have butternut squash with a sprinkle of candied ginger.
And I can't forget the sweet cranberry sauce that won't, your stomach, injure!"

With a tear in my eye I hugged my dear mother who had helped make my dreams come true!
She truly made Turkey Day a holiday worth celebrating, without me needing a drink... or two.

As I eat my Tofurky with a tall glass of cider, I give thanks for my very blessed life.
Which is full of family, friends, & PUPPIES! And very little strife.

THE END


NOTE TO READERS: This poem is fiction. It is merely a fantasy & a figment of my imagination. I will, in fact, be eating soggy canned peas this Thanksgiving.... and maybe a dinner roll without butter. When's Christmas? I want presents!!

Happy Birthday to MEEEEE!

I turned 24 this past Friday on 11/11/11!... (Guess what my lucky number is?)

To celebrate, Brian rocked-out and took me on a lovely get-away weekend to NYC. I like to refer to NYC as "The other DC," where DC stands for "Dachshund City" because there are so many adorable little wiener dogs moving their tiny little legs down every block! (My total dachshund-spotting count this weekend was seven. A commendable number, but nowhere near my PR of fifteen)...

In addition to eating at Candle 79, (one of the BEST vegan restaurant in the country which surprised me with the dessert pictured above), seeing the Lion King on Broadway, and running around the entirety of Central Park, here are a few fun things I got to do in "The other DC"...

I got a manicure on the upper west side in a very "zen" establishment. They massaged my hands with some green lotion called "squat" and asked me to shut-up multiple times because I was disturbing the lady getting a facial in the next room. I guess I said, "OOO, that smells like strawberries!" with too much enthusiasm.

I stole a Christmas tree outside of some expensive shop walking home from dinner. Luckily for me, the NYPD ain't got nothing on my speed, WHAT!

 

Brian is such a sport and puts up with my insane puppy-like energy. We walked about 10 miles around the city before we needed to put up our feet and have some serious couch time!

I was just entering the REM stage of my nap when Brian snapped his camera and woke me up. I like to call this my "Happy Wake-up Face." Just looking at it makes me feel beautiful :)

 

We strolled around the American Museum of Natural History and learned lots about interesting animals. After much persuasion, I finally convinced this charming penguin in to dance with me. I therefore dubbed him "Vanilla Ice"...

I finished out the weekend by gorging myself w/ tofu cream-cheese at 72nd St. Bagel. I can still feel the white deliciousness moving around in my belly. So worth it!

Happy Birthday to ME!

Thanksgiving!

Earlier this month, I went to an "Early Thanksgiving" party. Unfortunately, I couldn't eat the adorable turkey muffins with mashed-potato icing or the buttery, pecan-a-licious sweet potatoes, but it was still a rocking party. Here's a picture of some of the foodz...

Gobble Gobble Gobble!

Happy Snow-lloween!

In my opinion, Halloween is a GRRREEAT Holiday! Here's why...

1) Halloween helps to boost the economy through increased sales of delicious candy and overly-priced costumes.

2) Halloween fosters creativity by forcing you to carve a super awesome design into a pumpkin & come-up with a witty costume that all will adore.

3) Halloween gives you a great excuse to dress like an idiot and/or slut and drink copious amounts of alcohol.

4) Halloween = Excessive airings of Hocus Pocus and The Nightmare Before Christmas! (My total # of viewings in October... Hocus Pocus = 3.6.... TNBC = 4.2)

5) Halloween means MY BIRTHDAY IS IN LESS THAN 2 WEEKS! (Current countdown = 6 days).

This year, Brian and his roommates through a Halloween party & it was a big hit! Here's why...

1) A girl just moved into Brian's house, which means she handled all of the decorating & food prep. ERGO- this girlfriend was off the hook yo!

2) Some party-goer brought over a cactus-shaped pinata and I got to take a dizzy, blind-folded whack at it. It was full of Milk Duds and Energy gels... SCORE!

Brian & I dressed up as Santa & Mrs. Claus this year. Very appropriately, the weather that day was unusually cold & it actually snowed for several hours. It was a Christmas, I mean, Halloween miracle!



Inspired by my obsession with The Nightmare Before Christmas, Brian and I carved Jack the Pumpkin King's head into my family's pumpkin. Can't you just hear it seeing, "What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere. What's this? There's white things in the air!"

 

And now, it's time break out the red & green to start prepping for CHRISTMAS! (I choose to ignore Thanksgiving as I no longer eat Turkey... gobble, gobble).

Fun Fall Happenings!

Hello, fellow bloggers! Are you all having a great fall season? The leaves are changing colors, the apples are ripe for picking, and the pumpkins are all plump and ready to carve into scary jack-o-lanterns. (Not to mention, my birthday is in less than 3 weeks. JOY!)... Here are a few fun things I've been up to this season:

My friend Liz got married last Spring, (a small family wedding), and had a big party with all her friends this October to celebrate. Here's a great picture of me and my good buddy, Laura. Despite the empty wine glass, I promise... I wasn't THAT tipsy.

Me, Brian, and a few friends went on a 6-mile hike of Sugarloaf Mountain in Maryland. It was a beautiful day and we were almost attacked by a 4-foot long rattle snake! I also spilled my messy lunch all over my shirt. (Note for next time: pack PB&J, not giant salad).

The DC-Vegetarian Festival a few weeks ago was super interesting. I ate a bunch of free food & got a free tote bag full of vegan snacks. The highlight was getting my picture taken with this giant carrot named "Chris P. Carrot"... (Get it? Crispy Carrot?)

What fun things have YOU been up to this season?

Bake Swap Treats!

This is just a mouth-watering sample of the awesome goodies I get to take home from my monthly Vegan Bake-Swap. (And the reason I'm an exercise addict)...

This month's goodies:
-Date Pecan Cookies (made by yours truly!)
-Raspberry Clafouti Tart
-Sweet Potato Pie
-Iced Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
-Earl Grey Tea Muffins
-British Scones
-Sticky Toffee Pudding Cake
-Chocolate Cake w/ Blueberry Cream
-Currant Squares

That's right, be jealous :)

Company Picnic

Last Sunday was my company's annual picnic...

To show my co-workers that I'm not just a nerdy workaholic & weird vegan, I asked Brian to accompany me. (He's very good-looking & down-to-earth. He definitely helped fool them, muahaha!)

Good Highlights: We had some free & tasty BBQ, played some corn-hole, utilized the open bar, & I got an awesome temporary tattoo of a turtle!

Bad Highlights: There were lots of crying children & this caricature was drawn of me and Brian...

I asked the caricature artist to draw us on vacation chilling on a boat/yacht. He interpreted this as "Please draw me in a skimpy bathing suit with enormous boobs. And please draw Brian with a rectangular head, pretending to reach out to grope my fake enormous boobs. And please accentuate his Jew nose."  

Needless to say, we grabbed the portrait and high-tailed it to the car before we had to show it to any of my co-workers. The caricature is now sitting in a pile of dust behind my dresser. Quite a memorable picnic!