Unsung Treasures: Little Drops of Joy

It's been kind of a rocky week for me. I'm not going to go into details because... 1) This isn't my diary, & 2)You aren't my freaking therapists... You are my loyal readers who visit my blog for fun, joy and sarcastic entertainment :)

Ergo, I'd like to introduce you to "Unsung Treasures: Little Drops of Joy"... a new permanent section of my blog that I'll mention everytime I come across a hidden/ underappreciated form of happiness, inspiration or sheer amusement.

Today's unsung treasure/little drop of joy... The beautiful spring flowers on AU's campus!

American University is a national arboretum, (meaning that it is nationally recognized for its sensational horticulture)... I am glad to know that my tuition money is going towards a good cause: Planting breath-taking flowers to adorn the university. I don't care if there aren't enough computers in the library. At least I can walk towards the Welcome Center and watch beautiful tulips blowing in the wind!... Here are some of the photos I took today around campus...

Observe & Report

I just got back from a press screening for a new movie called "Observe & Report," a college-humor comedy about a lazy mall-cop, (Seth Rogan), who tries to win the slutty love-of-his-life, (Anna Faris), by solving both a robbery and a sexual-assuault case before an egotistical private investigator, (Ray Liotta)...

Basically... "Mall Rats" + "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" + "Superbad" + "The Waterboy" = "Observe & Report"... it's shockingly obscene and painfully funny... But really, you've seen it all before: Seth Rogan is his typical hilarious self. Anna Faris is her typical hilarious self. The main characters curse a lot and do/say things that (hopefully) no human-being is stupid enough to do in real life.

Despite the fact that it rips-off four other well-known comedies, "Observe & Report" serves-up some pretty great scenes... The opening scene with the perverted mall-flasher will literally make you pee your pants. And the date scene between Rogan & Faris... WOW: hilarious!

The movie is funny... but you should definitely wait until it comes to DVD. Seth Rogan & Anna Faris will just have to wait :)

Books, Twilight, Joose, Candyland, Yale

It’s been about 2-3 days since my last post and there are several things I’d like to share with you all…

1) I read a book this week that changed my life: “He’s Just Not That Into You” by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, (it inspired the movie). It should be distributed to every woman at puberty as the ultimate relationship manual for understanding men. It’s an eye-opening guidebook that I wish I had read before diving into the world of dating 7 years ago. It would have saved me a lot of worthless heartbreak and unnecessary stress.

2) I went down to Williamsburg last night to visit my brother & some of my fellow Nicaragua travelers. The point of the visit was to attend a Twilight-themed party hosted by my good friend, Antonio Elias… (Yes, I said Twilight: Edward Cullen, Bella Swan, vampires, werewolves… an emo kid’s heaven!) Here is a direct quote from the e-mail invitation I received Friday morning:

Join us, for nothing is more enjoyable than man's most horrifying creation - the 2008 hit film starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. How will we survive the onslaught of divinity that is "Edward Cullen"? Simple - the Leister-Elias Twilight Drinking game - every time you want to KILL YOURSELF, or kill one of the actors, or Stephanie Meyer, DRINK!

3) During my W-burg visit I was introduced to a new beverage: “Joose”… A premium malt beverage with natural flavors, alcohol, caffeine, taurine, ginseng and certified colors. Sketched out? You should be! When the W&M kids get their party on with JOOSE, they are beyond drunk… they are “in the GRID”… (Whatever that means?)

4) After the Twilight party had ended, a couple of us crazy kids headed to another fun party… its theme: Candyland! Picture lots of bright colors, sweet treats and college kids dressed up as gummy bears, bubble-gum and Hershey kisses. The hosts even created a makeshift bar stocked with specially-made party drinks like skittle-vodka, jello-shots, peppermint-patty shots, lemon-drop shots and other clever concoctions. Party-goers sported candy necklaces, bracelets and even candy bras! What clever William & Mary students :)

5) Andrew has definitely decided to go to graduate school at Yale next year. Honestly: I was quite thrilled to hear his decision… My new plan is to visit him constantly until I meet a handsome, rich & intelligent Eli who will shower me with love… Hey: A girl’s gotta take advantage of her resources :)

A Lover's Manual

In addition to writing a book about my mother’s philosophies and wisdom, I hope to someday publish a manual for clueless men and women on how to romance the opposite sex through generous acts of love and kindness.

I am an action-oriented kind of gal… (NO, not the bungee-jumping sort of action… but the gift-gifting, thoughtful gestures, lean-on-me sort of action). In my clever romantic mind I’ve thought up hundreds of creative ways for any man or woman to let their special-someone know how special and appreciated they are. Here are some of the chapter titles I’ve been brainstorming…

1) Power Of The Pen
2) Horny? Get Corny!
3) Aphrodisiacs Are Overrated!
4) Think Small, Dream Big
5) Finding Inspiration: Tips for the Lazy
6) Leave Your Wallet At Home
7) Words Tell It All
8) What NOT To Do
9) Reading The Signs

I’m aiming for a release date sometime around 2015… Until then: good luck lovers!

Attack of the Devil Children!

The past 24 hours have been chock-full of adventure! I landed an amazing fall internship in New York City at a top-rated Magazine… I saw and talked to Beyonce coming out of a coffee shop in Dupont Circle… I bought roundtrip plane tickets to Rome for only $200… And most exciting/dramatic: I found out I’m pregnant!

OK… I hope that by now you realize where all of this is going… APRIL FOOLS! (None of the above statements are true)

I hate this Holiday… Who the hell invented “April Fools Day” anyway? My best April 1st memory was making creepy crawlers with THE Andrew Gerard Leister and hiding them stealthily around the house to traumatize our Mother. To our dismay… the jokes ended with long timeouts and no cookies in our school lunchboxes :(

The worst April Fools Day in the history of Leister April Fools took place sometime around 1995. The extended family had gathered at Grandma’s house for a mid-day brunch, (present at the meal were my crazy mischievous cousins)…One of us decided that it would be a good idea to play a little trick on Grandma and Papa… Already, BAD IDEA!

We snuck upstairs and started giggling to ourselves as we pulled all of their clothes out of their dressers and through them across the floor. We then took shampoo and baby powder and ran around the bedrooms sprinkling it across every piece of furniture. We even went so far as to put grandma’s bras in secret little hiding spots around the house… OH how clever we were!

WRONG! Our parents stepped in and ultimate groundings ensued… (after we spent hours cleaning up the mess)... It’s a great story to tell today, but at the time it was a definite P.L.D. (poor life decision)… ERGO: I am completely scarred from past April Fools. I have learned my lesson to only play tricks that don’t involve rubber spiders, sticky toiletries and grandma’s undergarments. Thank the Lord for verbal lies :)

Greek Season Premiere: Toga! Toga!

I've been waiting for this day since last October!

I'm buying some popcorn & dusting off the plasma screen for the season premiere of Greek, (currently- my favorite show), airing on ABC Family at 8:00pm this evening!

Because Grey's Anatomy & One Tree Hill have been quite disappointing this year, (they're lost causes), I'm putting lots of eggs into Greek's basket to revive my enthusiasm and respect for prime-time television. The show's first three seasons exceeded my expectations and I'm praying that the 4th season will be just as entertaining.

To sum-up Greek in a nutshell... It's a cute drama/romantic comedy that follows the adventures of the panhellenic system at Cyprus Rhodes University... (Don't bother googling the school, it doesn't exist)... The show focuses on real-life struggles facing today's college students, (dating, classes, roommates, money), while incorporating the ridiculous and hysterical culture of themed-parties, religious extremism, underage drinking and sheer collegiate embarrassment.

The show relates to most college-aged viewers because it takes the perspective of students from every stereotypical clique: There's the uber-Christian, the blossoming nerd, daddy's little princess, the gay jock, the lazy ladies' man, the hard-working beauty, the trust-fund frat-boy and a house full of party animals.

Tune in tonight to see if Max and Casey stay together and whether or not Frannie destroys the future of Zeta Beta Zeta.

(PS- If Friends was still on the air, I wouldn't have looked twice at this show. Joey Tribbiani... how I miss thee)

Birth of Venus: (Rhymes with Penis)

This is one of the (many) postcards that I took away from yesterday's PostSecret meeting. I liked the secret because I recently studied Botticelli's Birth of Venus in my Art History class. I also liked it because I completely agree with the secret... What's the point of taking a ride if there's no destination? :)