"The Cleanse"

Hello, loyal readers! I've come here today to write about the concept of a "cleanse," or elimination of certain foods in order to feel like a weightless goddess. It's a topic I've both written about and experimented with before. A few years ago, I attempted to do a 3-day fruit and vegetable cleanse. (It was supposed to be a week-long cleanse, but I couldn't fathom the idea of eating nothing but fiber for 7 days). ANYWAY, I got half-way through breakfast on cleanse day #1 when I decided I wanted a big bowl of cereal... and scrambled eggs. Hence, end of cleanse.

There is something incredibly sexy about the idea of a cleanse. You believe that monitoring what you eat for a certain period of time will make you the beautiful, skinny embodiment of health. In some cases, this is in fact the case, and a cleanse will leave you with an abundance of energy, clear skin, flatter tummy and newfound appreciation for produce. Other times, cleanses will make you hangrier than a Basic B who was too busy to go to brunch with her squad.

I have yet to successfully complete a cleanse. (My four long years as a vegan aside). After much thought and deliberation, I think there are two main reasons for my failure... 1) FOMO... 2) Hypoglycemia. If I see a cookie, want the cookie, and don't let myself have the cookie, I get very upset. No, I don't want to eat seven cookies, I just want ONE! And not letting myself have that one cookie is devastating for everyone involved. Additionally, limiting calories or only allowing myself to eat a certain number of meals per day leaves me shaky, weak and full of anger and anxiety.

Maybe someday I will successfully complete "Whole 30," or will only eat colorful produce for a number of days. Until then, I will continue eating as healthy as possible... but won't deny myself the occasional cookie. Balance, variety and flexibility!